


our hands would not be taught to hold another's

by Missnoodles



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: (very temporary), Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Identity Reveal, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Guardian Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Hot Mess Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Reveal, Ladynoir July 2020, Ladynoir | Adrien Agreste as Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng as Ladybug, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Post-Episode: s03 Miracle Queen (The Battle of the Miraculous Part 2), Temporary Black Cat Holder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:40:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 38,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25014856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missnoodles/pseuds/Missnoodles
Summary: Adrien knew that wasn’t fair to blame Ladybug for this. There were rules, and now that Master Fu was gone, it was her job as the Guardian to enforce them. There were rules, and he knew the rules, and he broke them. He hadn’t meant to, but he did.That didn’t make losing the ring hurt any less.Plagg shot Ladybug a skeptical look. “And you really think you can do this without him?”Ladybug bit her lip. “I… I don’t know. But I have to. It’s my job, I shouldn’t need… I should be able to do it with anyone."But… maybe there couldn’t be Ladybug without Chat Noir. Ladybug by itself didn’t sound nearly as cool.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Plagg, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Tikki
Comments: 676
Kudos: 650





	1. the wall between us

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first chapter of an ongoing fic based on the Ladynoir July 2020 prompts! I will not be including every prompt because my writing speed and plot don't work, but will be going forward with as many as I can manage! Chapter 2 will probably not be posted until next week to follow the prompts. 
> 
> Thanks so much to [sagansjagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/works) for beta-ing this for me and always being so supportive of my writing!

Adrien loved Ladybug. But sometimes he really, really hated her.

He knew that wasn’t fair. There were rules, and now that Master Fu was gone, it was her job as the Guardian to enforce them. There were rules, and he knew the rules, and he broke them. He hadn’t meant to, but he did.

That didn’t make losing the ring hurt any less.

* * *

“My girlfriend and I broke up,” Chat Noir said, leaning his head against the wall behind him.

“Oh, kitty, I’m so sorry. Is everything okay?” Ladybug said softly, just barely loud enough for her voice to carry across the wall between them.

“I… don’t know. I think so. Maybe. Things with her were… well, it doesn’t matter. You don’t need to know that part.”

“Of course it matters! Just because I can’t know the details, doesn’t mean your problems aren’t important to me. Please, Chat, you’re my partner--”

He couldn’t hear this. Not without telling her. “She found out that I’m Chat Noir!” he blurted. He heard a gasp from behind him.

“How? When did this-- how could you-- oh, no, oh no, no, no. This is a disaster, if someone knows who you are, I have to-- I can’t…” Ladybug’s words were swallowed by short, gasping breaths. Chat stood up and turned to move towards her, but she shot out a hand from behind the wall, her fingers splayed and her palm facing out. He paused.

He heard her take in a final, shuddering breath, as she clenched her hand into a fist and lowered it back out of his view. Chat wanted to move closer, to cross to the other side of the wall and wrap his hands around that clenched fist, but he was afraid of what he’d see if he faced her.

“Chat,” she said, her voice small. “You know what this means.”

“Please, little bug, I know what Master Fu’s rules were, but I promise, you can trust her.”

“You want me to trust your ex-girlfriend?” Ladybug’s voice had gained a sudden edge to it. He could feel the shape of something behind her words, but he couldn’t make it out. He grasped at it, hoping there was something to latch onto.

“She’s trustworthy! And you _do_ trust her, I know you do--”

“Chat,” she interrupted, her voice sharp as glass. “It doesn’t matter if she’s trustworthy. Our identities are secret for a reason. You know that. I’m sorry, I am, but we can’t take the risk.”

With that final proclamation, Ladybug emerged from behind the wall. The city lights shone behind her, illuminating her silhouette. As she moved closer into the light, he could make out the hint of tears at the edges of her mask.

“Please, kitty, don’t make this harder than it has to be,” she said, softer now, her voice catching on the word “kitty.”

“C-claws in,” he said, closing his eyes as the magic washed away from his body for the final time. He’d never felt more naked than he felt right then, standing fully clothed in front of his Lady.

“Kid, I told you not to--” Squeezing his eyes tighter, Adrien ripped the ring off his hand, silencing Plagg as he disappeared into the ring. Adrien opened his eyes, preparing to hand over the ring, but was stopped by the look on Ladybug’s face. Her unblinking eyes were wider than he’d ever seen them. He could still see the hint of tears glittering, but without his night vision, he couldn’t make out the rest of her expression. 

He’d been wrong before, he realized. This was the most exposed he’d ever been, with his ring finger bare and his closest companion trapped in a small circle of metal in his palm. He felt stripped raw.

Suddenly, Ladybug started shaking her head, her limbs whirling to life as she opened her mouth to speak. “Yo-You’re-- I didn’t, you’re… I can’t, I need to ring you Adrien. Adrien your ring! I please, you, sorry, sorry, sorry!” Ladybug’s voice came out high and quick as she waved her hands around her face wildly. And then, just as abruptly as she had started, she stopped. She pulled her shoulders back and faced him fully, her previously-animated face now grim. When she spoke again, her voice was low and measured.

“Adrien, I’m so sorry. I wish there was another way. But you can’t be Chat Noir anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now with fabulous [art](https://fictionalinfinity.tumblr.com/post/626692148113326080/from-chapter-one-of-our-hands-would-not-be-taught) by [fictionalinfinity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionalinfinity/works)! Thank you so much Maddy, I love it!


	2. rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ladybug wishes for a rose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to [sagansjagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/works) and [rikkapikasnikka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rikkapikasnikka/works) for looking over this chapter.

Ladybug braced herself, waiting for Adrien to respond. She expected him to argue with her, to keep trying to convince her—anything to prevent her from taking his ring.

But instead, after a brief pause, he quickly stepped forward, the ring clenched in his hand in front of his chest. His bare hand stood out against the dark cotton of his shirt. Unconsciously, she took a small step back before stopping and holding her ground. 

He stepped closer still, before thrusting his fist out in front of her. Without meaning to, she felt her hands come up to wrap around his fist. He smiled at her, sad and soft.

“I understand, Ladybug,” he said, turning his hand over inside hers and unclenching his fist to drop the ring in her palm. Abruptly, she was reminded of a different night, with a different boy, handing her a rose—

No. Not a different boy. The same boy. Because Adrien was Chat Noir. Had been Chat Noir. Wasn’t anymore.

The ring suddenly felt unbearably heavy in her hand. She wished for a rose instead. She wished he’d lean in, and touch his lips to her cheek, like he’d done that night. 

Instead, he stepped back, slipping his hand out of her grasp as he did. He looked down at his hands as if he’d never seen them before.

“So… I guess that’s it, then,” he said, his voice so soft she could barely hear it. “I… I just…,” he trailed off, rubbing his fingers over the empty spot on his right hand, still refusing to meet her eyes.

Ladybug opened her mouth to say something to cut through the oppressive silence that had fallen over them, but stopped herself. Adrien deserved a chance to gather his thoughts. She shouldn’t talk over his silence to ease her own discomfort.

Finally, after what seemed like forever but was probably only a few short seconds, Adrien continued. “Just… promise you’ll take care of Plagg, okay? I know he’s annoying sometimes, but he’s… he… he likes Camembert. I can get you some, if you need it. He can eat other things, too, but…”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“Please, mi--Ladybug, it’s no trouble, I… want to help. If I still can. If all I can do is get him cheese, then that’s what I’ll do. You can get it from me and give it to… to…” He stopped there, unwilling or unable to continue further. She wasn’t sure which.

“Thank you, Adrien,” she choked out. She couldn’t actually get cheese from him, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell him that. He’d be in danger if she was seen with him too often as Ladybug. And she couldn’t bear to put him in any more danger than he already was--she had to keep him safe, and the only way to keep him safe was to follow the rules. She couldn’t take the cheese as Marinette, either, without giving her own identity away. She’d have to find another way to get Camembert for Plagg. It was important to Adrien.

He nodded, his lips pressed tightly together. He still didn’t look at her.

“I promise I’ll take care of him,” she continued, when it became clear Adrien wasn’t going to speak again. 

“Thanks,” he mumbled, looking smaller than she’d ever seen him.

“No, Adrien, thank you. For everything. You… you’re amazing. And I… I wish…”

“Don’t worry about it, Ladybug,” he said, sounding suddenly tired. “Can you take me home?”

“But…”

“Please, Ladybug. It’s late.” It was only an hour past sunset, but Ladybug didn’t have the heart to correct him. With a resigned nod, she pulled out her yo-yo and slipped the ring inside to keep it safe for the journey.

Tentatively, she stepped closer to him, readying her yo-yo at her side. She turned her arm out toward him, signaling that she was ready. Neither of them moved.

Finally, finally, Adrien stepped closer and reached towards her. She felt his warm arm hesitantly wrap around her shoulders, and she returned the gesture by grabbing his waist and pulling him into her. It wasn’t the first time she’d been this close to Adrien as Ladybug, but it had never felt so intimate, or so tense, as it did now. She turned her face towards him to ask if he was ready, but her words died in her throat when she saw him looking back at her, his eyes wet and gleaming like dew drops on summer grass. Her mouth felt dry. Speechless, she nodded at him, hoping he could read her intentions. He nodded back.

Ladybug flung her yo-yo out, and they were off. The cool air felt sharp against her skin as they flew through the air. She was hyper aware of Adrien’s breath against her neck and the smell of his cologne. She’d always loved the way he smelled, but tonight she hated it. She longed for the rich, earthy undertone of leather she associated with Chat Noir.

 _Focus, Ladybug,_ she scolded herself. There’d be time for that later. She needed to get him home safe. Keeping Adrien safe was the most important thing. She’d have time to dwell later.

She tried to concentrate on the journey, keeping her eyes trained on the next rooftop, and the one after that. Yet her thoughts refused to cooperate, and her brain kept chanting _Chat Adrien Ring Kagami Hawkmoth Adrien Plagg Chat Chat Chat_ on repeat _._

Somehow, despite her whirlwind of thoughts, she managed to travel smoothly from roof to roof, and before she was ready, they were outside Adrien’s window. One of the panes was open, as it had been when she’d visited in the past -- a habit that suddenly made a shocking amount of sense.

Her feet landed on the ledge, but she stopped before jumping down into his room. Once her feet touched the floor, she’d have to let go of Adrien. 

She’d have to let go of Chat.

“Ladybug?” he asked, clearly wondering why she was stalling on his window ledge but too polite to say anything more direct.

“Right, sorry,” she replied, quickly hopping off the ledge and setting him down on the floor, releasing her grip from his waist. His arm lingered around her shoulders, his hand slowly sliding across her back and trailing down her arms as he pulled away. She couldn’t feel the softness of his hands through the suit, but her arm tingled wherever he made contact nonetheless. She wanted to reach for his hand, to wrap it in hers, to lay his palm on her shoulder, on her face, to slip the ring back on-- _no, Ladybug. Focus._

_You need to leave, before you do something you’ll regret,_ she told herself, firmly ignoring the voice in her head that reminded her, _you already have._

“Goodbye, Adrien,” she whispered, trying not to think about the look in his eyes or his big, empty room. She turned away and hopped back on to the window ledge, flinging her yo-yo out and escaping into the night.

* * *

By the time Ladybug landed on her balcony, she felt like she had run ten miles uphill as a civilian. Exhausted, she climbed down the hatch into her bedroom. She pulled the ring out of her yo-yo and set it on her bed.

“Spots off.”

As the magic of her suit dissolved, so did the dam holding in her emotions. Unable to contain it anymore, Marinette curled up on her bed next to the ring and sobbed as Tikki tried to soothe her. Once she started, she couldn’t stop, grasping at her stuffed cat as hot tears rushed down her face. Tikki was saying something, but Marinette couldn’t make out Tikki’s high chirp over the voice in her head and the sounds of her own cries. 

_Adrien was Chat Noir._ Adrien was the boy who’d always been there by her side, through everything. The boy who supported her, who picked her up when she was down, who--

Who had been in love with her. So in love with her that he’d set up dozens of candles and roses on a rooftop to confess to her. Who’d been devastated when she didn’t turn up, because she was busy waiting for him. He was the boy she’d turned down, the one who’d smiled through his pain and told her he treasured just being her friend even when she'd hurt him. Who’d done the same thing tonight, when he’d handed her the ring. 

Adrien had been her partner. Her partner who had thrown his own life away for hers, jumping in front of her during an attack without hesitation, and dropping off the roof when they fought Gamer the second time, even after she’d snapped at him. She felt a sharp pang in her heart as she recalled what he’d said to her that day: “The times when I have the most fun, my favorite moments, are when I'm with you, M'lady. And I would give up everything for just that.”

And she’d taken that from him. The one thing he’d give up everything for, and she’d taken it away. Her chest felt tight and her stomach churned. _Adrien_ had said that. She was suddenly reminded again of how small he’d looked standing in his room before he left, how the city lights shining on his window panes had cast shadows across his room like bars that kept him in. That one open window had been his escape, she realized now. An escape he could no longer use.

Marinette knew she needed to think, to make a plan for what she was going to do with the ring, but everytime she looked at it she felt hot bile rise up in her throat. That was _Chat’s ring_. It didn’t belong here on her bed, surrounded by pillows and pink softness. It belonged with her partner. Without thinking, her arm shot out to grab the offending piece of jewelry, and she threw it down off her loft and out of sight before curling back into the pillow and sobbing harder.

Eventually, Marinette’s tears slowed down to a trickle as her exhaustion swept over her. Marinette lay there on top of the covers, fully clothed with her shoes still on, until she drifted off to sleep.


	3. (no) interviews

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette tries to adjust to life after Chat Noir. It doesn't go well, but she does make a decision.
> 
> _And it was then I realize the conscience never fades  
>  When you're young you have this image of your life  
> That you'll be scrupulous and one day even make a wife  
> And you make boundaries you'd never dream to cross  
> And if you happen to you wake completely lost_
> 
> from _The Special Two_ by Missy Higgins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to [sagansjagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/works) and [rikkapikasnikka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rikkapikasnikka/works) for looking over this chapter.

When Marinette woke up the next morning, her mouth was dry and her eyes felt swollen and crusty. Rubbing her eyes, she twisted up to reach for her phone on the shelf behind her bed and check the time, only to realize her phone wasn’t there. She’d never taken it out of her purse that night. She fussed with her blankets and pillows for a minute until she spotted her purse at the very edge of the loft, careful not to jostle Tikki, who was still asleep at the head of her bed. 

Marinette dove off the side of her bed, grabbing the strap and hauling the whole thing onto her bed. When she finally retrieved her phone, she noted the time was still thirty minutes before she normally woke up. Good. She’d have time to shower. Marinette’s hair might still be wet by the time she got to school, but she needed to feel the hot rush of water on her skin. She needed to wash off the sweat and tears from the night before, and start fresh. 

It was a new day. She was Ladybug, and she had to be strong. She couldn’t afford to dwell.

* * *

As expected, the shower helped, though not as much as the big breakfast her papa had prepared when he’d seen her red-ringed eyes that morning. He had first tried asking Marinette why she was upset, but Marinette, not knowing what to say, only shook her head. He opened his mouth, as if he was going to press further, but was stopped by her maman.

“Tom, Marinette only just woke up. She’s not ready to talk right now,” her maman said, ushering her papa into the kitchen. Marinette followed, taking a seat on a stool by the counter and gratefully accepting a glass of juice from her mother while her father fired up the stove. Marinette was grateful for both of them.

After breakfast, Marinette managed to go through the motions of getting ready for her day, carefully not thinking about the night before, and had almost managed to craft some semblance of a good mood by the time she arrived at school and greeted Alya on the steps.

“Hey, girl. You look a bit rough this morning, is everything okay?” Alya asked, her brows crinkling together.

“I’m okay, Alya, just tired! You know me, always getting caught up in projects and staying up too late! I’ll be fine after a nap later!”

“If you say so, girl. You know I think you’re amazing, but you need to take care of yourself. I can’t have my bestie making herself sick!” Alya smiled as she said this, linking her arm through Marinette’s.

Marinette smiled back, taking comfort in the warmth behind her friend’s words. _Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad,_ she thought.

Marinette’s good mood was immediately dashed when a familiar looking car stopped in front of the school, and Adrien stepped out. Marinette’s grin slipped off her face.

Marinette had been so determined to not think about Chat Noir that she’d completely forgotten about, well, Chat Noir. She’d planned to focus on being Marinette and push the worries of her second life to the back of her mind, but she couldn’t do that anymore. Not with the living, breathing reminder stepping out of his car and waving directly at her and Alya, his eyes tired and his smile not quite reaching his eyes.

Adrien hadn’t said as much, but it was clear that losing the ring had been a huge blow for him. Looking at him now, she was struck by the deep loneliness in his soft green eyes. _Had that look always been there? Or was it from losing Plagg? Or… losing me?_

Quickly, Marinette turned to Alya, unlinking their arms. “I just remembered I need to go water my cat!” Marinette shrieked, and she dashed off to the classroom without hearing Alya’s response. Today was going to be a long day.

* * *

If anyone had asked her, Marinette would not have been able to repeat a single thing Madame Bustier had said during class that morning. She’d tried to pay attention to the teacher, she really did, but every time she looked up from her notepad her vision was filled with the perfectly-styled blond hair of the boy in front of her, and all she could think was _Chat._ It was like the beginning of the school year all over again, when she’d first realized how crazy she was about Adrien, before she’d managed to somehow focus in class despite his presence.

Any progress she’d made in not thinking about Adrien had been completely wiped clean by the single thought that had dominated her mind the entire morning: _Adrien had been Chat Noir._ When he’d raised his right hand to answer, she flinched at the sight of his bare ring finger. She’d never given much notice to his ring before today, but now that she knew, his large hand looked strange and foreign without the small metal band. She looked back down at her notebook, willing the image of Adrien’s hand away.

 _Focus, Marinette_ , she reminded herself harshly.

It didn’t work.

* * *

When class finally let out for lunch, Marinette made up another excuse to avoid Adrien.

“I left my lasagna in the closet!” she’d shouted loudly when Nino asked if she was joining them for lunch. Her voice sounded too loud, even to her own ears. She practically sprinted back to the bakery. Marinette knew Alya would have questions as to why she’d suddenly started acting strange around Adrien again, when she’d worked so hard in the last two months to strengthen her friendship with him while he dated Kagami.

 _He’s not dating Kagami anymore,_ the unhelpful voice in Marinette’s head reminded her. She ignored it. It didn’t matter who Adrien was dating. He wasn’t interested in Marinette, and if she’d had any chance with him as Ladybug, it was surely gone after last night.

Her thoughts continued whirling as she entered the bakery, waving at her parents as she passed and headed up the stairs to the apartment. She’d been doing so well at moving on, too. She’d become closer with both Adrien and Kagami since putting her feelings aside, and spending more time on the Couffaine houseboat getting to know Luka. She hadn’t been quite over Adrien yet, but she had been prepared to watch Adrien and Kagami date. Marinette had been prepared to put her love life on the back burner, to take things slow with Luka while she focused on mastering the mysteries of the Miracle Box.

She hadn’t been prepared for this.

She hadn’t been prepared to find out who Chat Noir was underneath the mask, and she’d been even less prepared to find out it was Adrien.

And she didn’t think she would have ever been prepared to lose him. Marinette had always assumed that, no matter what else happened, she’d have Chat Noir by her side. Sure, he’d sometimes been out of commission when hit by an akuma, or he’d been late for a battle--

 _No, he’d never been late,_ she realized suddenly, coming to a sudden halt on the steps up to the second landing. Everytime Chat hadn’t shown up on time, Adrien had been there, either at her side as a civilian, or trapped by the akuma before he could get away to transform. He’d always been there. And now he wouldn’t, not anymore.

 _Why did Kagami have to find out?_ Marinette thought, energized by a brief flare of anger as she resumed stomping up the stairs. _She ruined everything._

Immediately, Marinette felt a pang of guilt for even thinking that. This wasn’t Kagami’s fault. Marinette didn’t even know how Kagami had found out. Marinette refused to believe Chat Noir would have told his girlfriend--he’d always been so careful with his identity, even when he grumbled at the need for secrecy. 

As Marinette entered the apartment and made her way towards the ladder to her room, she considered whether she should talk with Kagami as Ladybug, to ensure that Kagami understood that she needed to keep the knowledge of Chat Noir’s identity to herself, but Marinette dismissed it. Kagami had been Ryuuko, and she understood the importance of secret identities. Besides, Marinette trusted Adrien to talk to Kagami himself.

Marinette climbed up into her bedroom, closing the trap door behind her. Tikki flew out of her purse, giving her a sympathetic look.

“Tikki, did I do the right thing?” she asked, unsure of the response she wanted.

“Of course, Marinette!” Tikki chirped, beaming at her. “I’m so proud of you, and Master Fu would be too. You are such a great Ladybug, Marinette, and…”

As Tikki rambled on singing her praises, Marinette stifled the dark, ugly part of her that wanted to shout at Tikki. _Stop talking,_ Marinette thought. _I don’t want to hear this._ Marinette wanted to be comforted by her kwami, but Tikki’s usually soothing cheerfulness only made her feel worse. 

_Just shut up,_ Marinette thought. She bit her tongue. Tikki was only trying to help.

Tikki’s voice trailed off, and she floated closer to Marinette. “Marinette, I know this hurts. But it will be okay, you’ll see!”

“How, Tikki? How can it possibly be okay? _He’s my partner_. How can I do this without him? How can I do this _to him?_ ”

Tikki nuzzled against her cheek, and Marinette brought her hands up to cup them around her friend, blinking back tears. 

“You should eat something, Marinette,” Tikki tried again. “You’ll feel better once your blood sugar is up!” Marinette knew Tikki was right, but the thought of food made her stomach churn. 

“I… can’t, Tikki, I…” She trailed off, unsure what to say. “I need to find the ring,” she decided. “I threw it off my bed last night, and I don’t know where it landed.”

“Of course, Marinette! I’ll help you look!” Tikki looked unbearably pleased to be useful. Marinette tried not to resent it.

As they searched the floor, Marinette continued to dwell. She felt awful for hurting Adrien, but she knew she couldn’t let him keep the ring. It was too risky. She couldn’t break the rules just because he needed the ring. She couldn’t break the rules just because she needed him.

Master Fu had made the consequences of either one of their identities being revealed clear. She couldn’t disregard his wisdom, no matter how much it hurt. She was the Guardian now, but she hadn’t even finished her training. Who was she to question the rules set by her mentor? She was just a kid.

She couldn’t forget what Bunnyx had shown her either, Chat’s icy blue eyes and white of his suit and _water, water everywhere--_

Her thoughts were interrupted by Tikki. “I’ve found it!”

Sure enough, Tikki was hovering midair above the black ring, which had somehow landed under Marinette’s vanity. Marinette’s shoulders sagged with relief. She couldn’t handle losing the ring on top of everything else.

After retrieving the ring, Marinette walked over to her lavender trunk, where she’d buried the Miracle Box under a pile of fabric scraps. She’d had to get rid of some of the gifts she’d made for Adrien to make room for it after becoming the Guardian. She pulled the large red egg out, setting it on her chaise.

She opened it up, intent to place the ring inside, when the memory of Master Fu’s voice filled her head. 

_“Marinette, pick an ally you can trust to fight alongside you in this mission.”_

She couldn’t do this alone. She knew that--she’d always relied on her partner. Briefly, she ran her hands over the dots containing the fox and the turtle, before drawing her hand back. She couldn’t give out the same miraculous she had given before, not after the battle against Miracle Queen. But she needed an ally. She could switch things around, give her friends different kwamis…

Her eyes landed on the ying-yang at the top of the egg, and she felt her chest grow tight. She hated the thought of giving the ring to anyone else--it felt like a betrayal of her partner. But creation had to be balanced with destruction. Swallowing the bitter taste in her mouth, she closed the Miracle Box, ring still in her hand. 

Even though it hurt, she needed a Black Cat to balance out her Ladybug. And if it couldn’t be Adrien, there was only one other person she could trust to have her back. One person that she could always count on to support her and encourage her as Marinette the way that Chat Noir did for her as Ladybug. There was no need for interviews: Marinette had made her choice.


	4. kwami swap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ladybug chooses her new Black Cat.
> 
> She's not very happy about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to [sagansjagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/works) and for looking over this chapter.

The evening after making her decision to recruit a new black cat holder, Ladybug made her way across the rooftops with the ring before landing on a terrace overlooking her destination. The lights in the living room were still on, so she couldn’t risk coming any closer. She’d have to wait for the rest of the family to go to bed, so that they wouldn’t have any reason to connect their daughter to the new Black Cat when she arrived on the scene.

Ladybug sat on the edge of the roof, taking in the night sky and the empty flatness surrounding her. She wasn’t used to staking things out by herself.

“Little lady on a roof, all alone without her kitty,” she sang under her breath, her voice barely louder than a whisper. She settled in to wait.

* * *

Some time later, after seeing the lights in the apartment’s living room go dark, Ladybug landed on a familiar balcony. Careful to avoid the sliding glass doors, she edged towards the window letting out a faint blue glow and peeked in. Sure enough, her target was still awake, slouched over her keyboard with her right knee pulled up to her chest and her left leg folded underneath her. Ladybug knocked.

Alya spun around in her chair in surprise, her legs fanning out and her hand knocking the mouse off her desk as she did so. When her eyes landed on Ladybug at the window, Alya jumped up and ran across the room to let Ladybug in.

Eyes wide with worry, Alya opened the window. “Ladybug, what are you doing here? Is there an akuma? Did you need Rena Rouge again? I didn’t think you’d ask me again, after what happened with Chloe—not that I don’t want to help, I definitely do! Just say the word!”

Ladybug smiled. Alya was a good choice.

“Can I come in?” Ladybug asked.

Alya nodded again, quickly moving to the side so Ladybug could climb inside her room. Straightening in the center of Alya’s bedroom, Ladybug took a deep breath. _You need a partner,_ she reminded herself. _You have to do this_.

Alya looked at her expectantly, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “So…”

“Alya Césaire,” Ladybug said, pulling the ring out from her yo-yo and wrapping her left hand around it. Her fist hovered in the air, away from her torso but not quite reaching Alya either. “Here is the Miraculous of the Black Cat, which grants the power of destruction. You will use it for the greater good. Once the job is do--” Ladybug stopped suddenly. She couldn’t say that, not this time. This wasn’t temporary. She opened her mouth to continue, but her tongue felt thick in her throat and her vocal cords refused to cooperate.

Alya wasn’t bouncing anymore. Instead, she took a step closer to Ladybug, cocking her head and crinkling her eyebrows upwards.

“Ladybug,” she said, her voice softer and tinged with a hint of worry. “Did… did something happen to Chat Noir? Is he okay?”

Ladybug knew she needed to respond. “He’s fine.” _He’s not fine,_ a voice inside her said. _He’s not fine and it’s your fault._ She squashed the voice down. “He just can’t be Chat Noir anymore. Can I trust you, Alya?”

“Always, Ladybug,” Alya responded with a firm nod. The concerned look in her eyes lessened but didn’t entirely fade. She reached out one arm towards Ladybug with her palm up. Ladybug stared at it.

“Ladybug…?” Alya prompted. Ladybug shook herself. _Focus, Ladybug. You came here for a reason. You can’t change your mind now._

Slowly, Ladybug extended her left elbow, the weight of the ring pressing into her fist, making her arm drop. She brought her right hand up to support her left elbow, trying to prevent her left arm from wavering in the air. Alya’s fingers twitched in front of her, but she didn’t move.

Ladybug dropped the ring into Alya’s waiting palm and turned her head away, her chest tight.

“Ladybug, are you sure about this?”

“I… I’m… I don’t... I’m sure, Alya. You’re a great hero. You’ll make a great partner.” Ladybug pasted a smile on her face and turned back to look at Alya. Her neck felt stiff as she moved.

Alya nodded and smiled back, the tension in her brows easing as her concern faded into anticipation. With a small, determined grunt, Alya slipped the ring onto her finger.

“—tell her!” Plagg finished his thought as he tumbled out of the ring. “Wait, who the hell are you?” Plagg asked, catching sight of Alya. “Where’s—” Plagg’s words suddenly cut off as a puff of noxious, virescent gas erupted from his mouth.

“Hi, I’m Alya! You must be my new kwami.”

Plagg narrowed his eyes. “You’re not my kid,” he said, sniffing, and crossed his arms over his tiny body.

“Plagg, please, this isn’t Alya’s fault,” Ladybug pleaded. When he spun in the air to face her, she shrunk back.

“You’re right,” he said, leaning forward. “This is _your_ fault.”

“I..” Ladybug started, unsure how to respond.

“Save your breath, pigtails. I’m not interested in talking to you.” With that, he turned away, setting his gaze back on Alya. “So, you’re Trixx’s kit.”

Alya bit her lip, her eyes darting back and forth between Plagg and Ladybug.

“Relax, glasses. She’s right, it’s not your fault. I guess we’re stuck with each other.” Plagg didn’t seem too thrilled about this.

Ladybug tried to speak up again. She wanted to honor Adrien’s wishes. “He likes—” Her voice cut off without her permission before she finished the statement. Plagg shot her another withering glare before returning his attention to Alya.

“As I was saying, glasses, as long as we’re stuck with each other, I expect to be provided with only the finest of cheeses. My previous holder never had any issue with it,” he said, as if daring Alya to challenge him.

“Adrien!” Ladybug shouted before she could stop herself. Both Plagg and Alya turned to face her this time, twin looks of surprise on their faces. “I mean, ah, he’s your friend, right, Alya? And his dad is super rich! Maybe you can ask him for Camembert?”

 _This could work_ , she thought proudly. _Plagg gets his cheese, Alya doesn’t have to spend money she doesn’t have, and Adrien gets to help, like he wanted._

“And how do I explain to him my sudden need for expensive cheese, Ladybug?” Alya asked, raising a single eyebrow.

“Oh… uh… you… um, your period?” Ladybug offered.

“I think there’s a limited time frame for that excuse, Ladybug,” Alya said, not unkindly. “Don’t worry, though, I’ll figure something out.” She turned to Plagg. “How do I transform?”

Ladybug bit her lip, trying to rein in the disappointment clawing at her throat. _But Adrien wants to help_ , she thought to herself, uselessly. _I can’t even give him that._

“To transform, you say, ‘claws out’ and to change back, ‘claws in,’” Plagg said to Alya. “I assume you’ve got the rest of the details down, right, Ladyblogger?”

“You betcha! I’ve even got a name ready!” Alya said, pumping her fist. “Plagg, claws out!” She yelled with gusto, and Plagg was sucked into the ring as the magic swirled around her.

Ladybug couldn’t bear to watch.


	5. fist bump?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A battle against Mr. Pigeon turns out much more challenging than Ladybug ever anticipated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to my beta [sagansjagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/works) and to [sseagully](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sseagully/works) and the writers on APS for helping me get through this battle scene. And thanks to [rikkapikasnikka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rikkapikasnikka) for helping with Alya's hero name!
> 
> Also, check out [this amazing art](https://aquawsm.tumblr.com/post/630966625905033216) of Mane Coon! Thank you Aurum!

Marinette only had two short days of reprieve before the next akuma attack. She spent her time at school trying not to think about the simmering anticipation brimming in her seatmate next to her or the slumped shoulders and empty eyes of the boy in front of her. She worked particularly hard not to notice the way Adrien’s eyes had widened and face had gone pale when Nino pointed out Alya’s new jewelry the morning after Ladybug had visited Alya’s bedroom.

“Babe, where’d you get that?” Nino said, grabbing his girlfriend’s hand.

“Oh, you know, just one of the many men vying for my favor,” Alya lied smoothly, flipping her hair behind her shoulder and chuckling at her boyfriend.

“You got that from a guy?” Adrien interrupted, leaning over to look at the ring.

Oh no. Marinette hadn’t anticipated this. She stuffed her fist in her mouth, unsure what else to do. Luckily, her faith in Alya hadn’t been misplaced.

“Nah, I’m just messing with you guys. It’s actually from Nora. Apparently, her new hand workout was _too_ effective, and her ring didn’t fit anymore. Wild, right?” Alya waved her hand as she said this, effortlessly preventing either of the boys from getting a closer look.

Marinette smiled. Alya was a good choice.

* * *

Marinette had been nervous for the first battle with Alya as her partner, so she was especially grateful to be facing Mr. Pigeon today. She and Chat had faced him so many times at this point, Marinette was fairly certain she could take him down in her sleep. In fact, it should be even easier now, since she knew for certain that Alya wasn’t allergic to feathers.

Even better, Alya had somehow managed to get to the Jardins du Trocadéro before Ladybug did, and seemed to be holding her own, effortlessly beating off pigeons with her stick.

Ladybug held back from jumping into the fray, trying to spot the pigeon man himself before putting herself in the line of fire.

“Hey, Ladybug!” her partner yelled, using her staff to bound towards her new partner. The birds followed, unwilling to let their prey escape. Ladybug winced.

 _Guess I’ve been spotted,_ she thought, feeling a pang in her chest when no one said the pun aloud. 

“What’s the plan?” her teammate said, twirling back to face the pigeons and spinning her baton to form a shield.

Ladybug froze. _The plan?_ She’d only just gotten here, and she didn’t even know where Mr. Pigeon _was_ , let alone the akumatized object.

Her partner craned her neck around to face her. “The name’s Mane Coon, by the way. Get it? _Mane_ Coon?” She gave her head a little toss as she said it, her curly auburn pigtails bouncing in the sunlight.

“Yeah, I get it,” Ladybug huffed, looking away from Mane Coon to continue searching for a sign of M. Ramier.

As she searched, she heard a _thump_ and a yelp. To her horror, she found that in her distraction, Mane Coon had somehow lost her grip on her baton, and was now being slowly lifted off the ground by a flock of very determined pigeons. 

_Chat wouldn’t have dropped his baton_ , Ladybug thought, slinging her yo-yo up to wrap around Mane Coon’s outstretched arm. Unfortunately, Ladybug had underestimated the velocity of pigeons, and found herself being dragged along the sidewalk. She tried to lean down to grab the dropped baton with her other arm as she went, but her fingers couldn’t make purchase on the smooth surface. Worse, as she leaned over, her center of gravity shifted, and her opposite foot lifted off the ground.

Once one foot was off the ground, it didn’t take much for Ladybug to be swept up by the rising tide of pigeons. She yelped as a second group of birds gathered underneath her feet, propelling her forward and up. With the baton still on the ground and her yo-yo string still tightly wrapped around Mane Coon’s wrist, Ladybug was powerless to fend off the hoard of winged rants.

Instead of struggling against them, Ladybug pulled on her yo-yo, bringing her up closer to Mane Coon. Mane Coon grinned at her. “Guess we’re going for a ride, huh?”

Ladybug looked past her friend, trying to make out where the flock of foul were taking them. _The Eiffel tower,_ Ladybug noted. _Of course. Always the tower._

By the time the pigeons had carried the pair to their destination, Ladybug had not only managed to catch the location of Mr. Pigeon on one of the upper platforms of the tower, but also formed the beginnings of a plan. She knew how he fought, and could easily craft a battle strategy around that. She just needed to get both her and Mane Coon to the platform.

Only a few feet away now, Ladybug shouted, “Mane Coon, grab my hand!”

Mane Coon eagerly stuck her hand out, ready for the next set of instructions, but it was the wrong hand. _Why would you stick out the hand wrapped in the yo-yo? We’re already connected._

“Other hand!” Ladybug tried to correct her. Mane Coon quickly stretched out her other arm, but it was too late. Their hands slipped past each other, failing to make contact as they slammed into the side of the Eiffel Tower.

Ladybug managed to grapple her way onto a support beam, but Mane Coon hadn’t been so lucky, and ended up dangling off Ladybug’s yo-yo string.

 _Why is this so hard? It’s just Mr. Pigeon!_ Ladybug thought with a spark of annoyance.

“Mane Coon, is there anything you can grab on to? I need my yo-yo!” she shouted, looking up to where she last saw Mr. Pigeon, trying to reformulate her plan. If she could just get to him, and call her lucky charm, she could end this. The battle was already dragging on much longer than she’d planned.

“Sorry, Ladybug, there’s not much here!”

Ladybug looked down for the first time, and realized Mane Coon was right. She was hanging completely midair, without a support beam or platform in sight.

“Okay, I’m going to pull you up! Hang on!” Ladybug shouted, retracting her yo-yo and pulling Mane Coon up to her side. Ladybug wrapped her arm around her friend, pulling her in tight, and was bombarded with the tangy apple cinnamon scent of Alya’s shampoo as Mane Coon’s long pigtails tickled her nostrils. The smell clashed with the earthy leather of Mane Coon’s suit, and Ladybug had to turn her head towards the sky for air as she zipped upwards with her friend in tow. By the time they reached Mr. Pigeon, Ladybug’s stomach was starting to churn and her throat felt tight. 

The battle didn’t go any smoother once they reached the akuma. When she said jump, Mane Coon ducked. When Ladybug said faster, Mane Coon sprinted in the opposite direction. It felt as if Mane Coon could hear everything Ladybug said in perfect time, but wasn’t hearing it in French. By the time Mane Coon managed to translate Ladybug’s words into action, the two heroes were completely out of sync.

When Ladybug finally called for her Lucky Charm three hours later, the soles of her feet ached and the churning in her stomach had transformed into a gnawing void. She suspected Mane Coon didn’t look any better at this point, but Ladybug didn’t want to check. Every time she saw Alya’s face behind that black mask, Ladybug’s eyes felt tight and hot and her stomach bottomed out.

While Ladybug used the fierce buzzing of the red- and black-spotted vacuum she’d summoned to ward off the onslaught of pigeons, Mane Coon finally managed to Cataclysm the pigeon pie recipe on the akuma’s hand, releasing the glowing purple butterfly. 

Ladybug made short work of cleansing the butterfly while Mane Coon attempted to comfort Mr. Ramier, who appeared to still be very concerned about that possibility of his feathered friends as cuisine. Ladybug knew she should join Mane Coon, whose experience in previous battles hadn’t extended to comforting the victim, but Ladybug’s legs felt heavy when she tried to move closer. Instead, she half-heartedly tossed the vacuum into the air, and a swarm of ladybugs came to return the pigeons to wherever pigeons go when they aren’t being possessed by a man in a skintight suit. 

Mr. Ramier was also swept away, presumably to wherever he had discovered the inciting recipe in the first place. Ladybug’s gaze fixed upon the empty spot on the ground where he had stood. The effort of lifting her eyes suddenly seemed like too much to bear, and the weight of air pressing down on her head felt too insurmountable to overcome.

She didn’t look up even as she heard the soft footsteps of her friend getting louder.

When Ladybug finally turned to the girl who had been fighting at her side for the last three hours. Mane Coon’s thick, curly pigtails had spread into a fuzzy cloud around her head, and her narrow pupils were drowning in the dull green sclera of her eyes. She still didn’t have her baton.

“Hey, Ladybug,” Mane Coon said, softly. “Pound it?”

Ladybug looked back down to the outstretched fist Mane Coon had offered, and promptly burst into tears.


	6. breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ladybug has several important conversations, and makes a new decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [sagansjagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/works) for looking over this chapter at the last minute so I could post (more or less) on time!

“Ladybug?” She heard Mane Coon’s voice ask, distantly, but it was drowned out by the roaring in her ears.

“Ladybug!” Mane Coon yelled again, this time accompanied by shuffling footsteps. Ladybug felt her friend’s soft arms wrap around her. Her knees buckled and she sank down onto the diamond plate metal, her descent slowed by Mane Coon’s support.

Ladybug threw her arms around her friend and buried her face in Mane Coon’s cloud of hair. Ladybug shouldn’t cry, not here at the top of the tower, but she couldn’t stop the onslaught of tears or the way the pang in her heart spread out through her chest and took over. Ladybug could feel her body trembling as she rocked forward into Mane Coon. Ladybug felt Mane Coon pull her further in and reach an arm up to stroke her hair as Mane Coon made gentle shushing noises.

“I thou--” Ladybug attempted to speak, but her voice was interrupted by another series of sobs scrambling out of her throat.

“It’s okay, Ladybug, you don’t need to say anything. I’ve got you,” Mane Coon said softly into her ear.

“But I--” This time, Ladybug’s words were interrupted by the _beep beep beep beep_ of her earrings, reminding her that she needed to get Mane Coon down from the tower before they both destransformed. Ladybug inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself, and was proud when only a tiny whimper interrupted her exhalation. She pulled herself backwards to face Mane Coon. “I’ll, I’ll get us down, and…”

“And then we can recharge, and talk.” Mane Coon said, her hands still resting on Ladybug’s shoulders. “I think we both know this isn’t working.”

Ladybug swallowed her tears and nodded. She readied her yo-yo, trying to ignore the shaking of her own hands and the forlorn look on Mane Coon’s face. “Let’s go, Alya.”

* * *

After dropping Mane Coon off next to Andre the ice cream man, who had somehow come into possession of the baton during the battle, Ladybug found a spot out of view to detransform.

Tikki fluttered around Marinette’s head worriedly as Marinette sniffled and fished her hand into her purse to find a macaron.

“Marinette, what happened?”

Marinette felt another sharp, high whimper escape her mouth, and slapped her hand over her mouth with too much force, as if the weight of her palm could shove her regret back down into her heart where it belonged. Tikki came up to nuzzle against Marinette’s fingers, coaxing them away from her mouth.

“It was, it was _awful,_ Tikki,” Marinette’s voice came out thready and uneven. “We were fighting for so long, and I couldn’t even look at her. Seeing her in his suit… it just felt so _wrong_. I just can’t… I thought I could, but… I thought I could let go, but I couldn’t, Tikki. I couldn’t.”

“Oh, Marinette,” Tikki said as she snuggled her small, warm body into the crook of Marinette’s neck. Marinette moved her hand down from her face to gently nudge Tikki away.

“Please, Tikki, just… eat your macarons, please. I need to talk to Alya.” Marinette tried to blink back the fresh tears clouding her vision, but some of them escaped down her cheeks anyway.

The ridges of Tikki’s brows creased with worry, but she ate her macaron without complaint.

* * *

When Ladybug landed next to Alya’s window thirty minutes later, she could hear Alya arguing with Plagg from within the room. Ladybug winced. She was glad Alya’s sister was gone at a tournament and her parents were still at work, otherwise they’d surely be able to hear the argument as well. Plagg’s tail was facing the window and his body was turned towards Alya, who paced back and forth, waving her hands.

“Plagg, she’s already upset! Just let me talk to her, okay?” Alya’s voice carried across the windowpane. She sliced both hands through the air simultaneously to underline her point.

“ _I’m_ upset! You were transformed for three hours, and all I got was sliced provolone? This is an outrage.” Plagg yelled back, bobbing up and down angrily.

“Just give her a break, Plagg! You didn’t see her face; I’ve never seen her look like that… she looked _broken_.”

Ladybug let out a gasp and reached to cover her mouth, unintentionally knocking over a potted plant with a stray elbow. As the pot clattered on the balcony, Plagg whirled around to face the window and zipped towards her. He rapped sharply on the glass with his tiny paws.

Huffing, Alya followed after him and opened the window. Before Ladybug could enter, Plagg flew closer, his face close enough for her to make out his tiny fags when he opened his mouth to speak.

“And what do _you_ have to say for yourself, Pigtails?” he spat. “Are you happy now that you just spent three hours fighting a pigeon man you’ve fought a hundred times before?” 

Ladybug didn’t know what to say in response, but it turned out she didn’t have to. Plagg wasn’t done.

“I can’t believe you’d throw away your partner like this! Did you know he’s the best Chat Noir I’ve ever had? Glasses in there is a good kid, but she’s never going to be him.”

Ladybug knew that already. She knew, she knew, _she knew._ But Plagg didn’t stop.

“I knew you’d do this. Ladybug holders are so obsessed with order and rules and doing everything just so, and now look! I told him not to tell you, but he didn’t listen!” At this, Plagg shifted to cup his chin with his paws, widening his big green eyes and fluttering his eyelids at her. “I have to tell her, Plagg!” he said in a high whine. “Ladybug deserves to know, she’s the guardian! I have to respect her decision, she’s sooooo pretty and smart, Plagg, I’ll just let her make all the decisions—”

At this, Ladybug finally found her voice and wrangled it into obeying her brain. “That’s enough, Plagg! He didn’t do anything wrong!”

Plagg’s eyes lost their spark and his tiny arms dropped to his sides. “Then why’d you do it, Ladybug? Why would you take me from him? Does he deserve to lose everything because of one mistake?”

Plagg’s words stabbed into her heart and lungs, making them constrict into her chest. She wrapped her arms around her torso to shield them, but it hurt to breathe. _Everything_ , her brain echoed.

“No, of course not!” Her eyes were burning again. “He doesn’t deserve this at all! But it’s not about what he deserves! It’s not safe, Plagg. I have to keep him safe. I lo—I have to keep him safe. I have to keep everyone safe.”

Plagg shot her a skeptical look. “And you really think you can do that without him?”

Ladybug bit her lip. “I… I don’t know. But I have to. It’s my job, I shouldn’t need… I should be able to do it with anyone. I should be able to do it alone. If I can’t do it without him, maybe I shouldn’t be Ladybug at all.”

“No!” Alya’s voice shouted from inside the window. “You have to be Ladybug! You can’t quit!” Alya scrambled through the window faster than Ladybug thought was possible without superpowers. “You’re my hero!” Alya said, her eyes boring into Ladybug as she somehow came up from a crouch to a stand without breaking eye contact even once.

“But—”

“No!” Alya yelled again. Ladybug twitched at the force behind her words. So did Plagg, who after a few seconds of intense eye contact with Alya, seemed to back down. As Plagg flew into the open window, Ladybug tried to reassure Alya.

“I wasn’t planning to quit, Alya, not really, I just… do you think Plagg is right?”

Alya’s frown deepened. “I don’t know, Ladybug. I like to think I’m an expert on this superhero stuff, but this is a bit above my pay grade. I’m sure you know more about this than I do. But I can tell Plagg misses Chat Noir, and it’s obvious you do too. For what it’s worth? You guys make an awesome team. I’m your biggest fan, Ladybug, but I don’t know if I can be your partner. Not like he was.”

Alya was right, too. Chat Noir was supposed to be her partner. But…

“Someone found out who he is, Alya. I know you know how dangerous that is. I can’t put him and Paris at risk just because I miss him, or because we had a rough battle.”

“Do you think that person would tell?” Alya asked, tilting her head.

“No, I know she would never. But she could be akumatized. She’s already been akumatized twice!” Ladybug stopped, remembering Lady Wifi and Oblivio. “I don’t mean—I know she didn’t—”

Alya let out a soft laugh and reached up to place her hand on Ladybug’s shoulder. “I get what you mean, Ladybug. Anyone knowing is dangerous.”

“Exactly! And it’s not just her. I know now, too. And that… that’s its own set of problems.” At this, Ladybug turned her body to look out at the stars, breaking the contact between her shoulder and Alya’s hands. She rested her hands on the railing.

“Different from a security breach?” Alya moved to follow, and Ladybug could feel the heat of Alya’s body as she leaned in closer. “How so?”

“I.. know him. Outside the suit… and… well, I think my judgement might be compromised,” Ladybug hedged. She wasn’t sure how much she could tell Alya about this without giving her own identity away, and yet… Alya was always the person Marinette talked to when she needed advice about Adrien. No one would be able to talk her through this better than Alya.

“In our normal life, I used to have the biggest crush on him,” Ladybug started. She heard a small squeal from her friend. “Like, embarrassingly big. I lost my head around him all the time, and did some things that I… regret. Most of them were silly and harmless, but…”

“But?” Alya prompted, her voice calmer now.

Ladybug shook her head. “It was fine, being a silly girl with a crush at school, but as Ladybug? I can’t be that girl. If I lose my head around him as Ladybug, people could get hurt.” _They already have_ , she thought, remembering how she’d rashly shown up fully suited where Master Fu had been hiding.

“But, you said you used to have a crush on him, right? If you don’t anymore, then you should be able to keep your head around him. You always did before. So what’s the problem?”

 _What was the problem?_ Alya was right, she was over Adrien. Or at least, over him enough to act like a rational human and smile at the sight of him and Kagami holding hands and laughing together. Sometimes Marinette even laughed with them, when they let her in on the joke. She was fine around Adrien. She was. And she was fine with the way Chat Noir had stopped calling her milady, or kissing her hand, or… Ladybug’s thoughts whirled to a halt. 

_Oh. Oh, no._ That was the problem. It didn’t matter whether or not she had gotten over Adrien. Whatever she still felt or didn’t feel didn’t make a difference, because she was unquestionably, undeniably, utterly in love with Chat Noir. Who was Adrien. Who was _only_ Adrien now, and probably resented her. Rightfully so.

Ladybug groaned and ran her hand roughly down her face, her gloved fingertips dragging along her mask and skin. _Disaster._

“Uhh… Ladybug?” Alya questioned. “You okay, there?”

“No… Alya, no. Alya, help. I’m in love with Chat Noir.” Ladybug felt her arms wave around wildly, as if her mad gesturing could emphasize to Alya the significance of this statement. When Ladybug turned to face her, however, she realized that Alya knew _exactly_ how monumental this was.

Alya’s eyes were shining as a high whistle escaped her mouth. She quickly covered her mouth with her hand, but it was too late. 

“Sorry, sorry!” she said. “I just… need a second.”

Alya turned away and shouted at her… plants? “ _Ladynoir is real!_ I knew it!” 

Ladybug winced. Alya turned back to face her, and Ladybug could see Alya struggle with the effort of schooling her foxlike grin into something more neutral.

“So, how can I help, Ladybug?”

Ladybug considered the question. _Alya was wrong about Ladynoir,_ Ladybug thought. Maybe it could’ve been real, once, but not anymore. She’d messed it all up. Even if he forgave her, there couldn’t be Ladynoir without the ‘noir.’

But… maybe there couldn’t be Ladybug without Chat Noir, either. Ladybug by itself didn’t sound nearly as cool. Neither did Ladybug and Mane Coon. 

Maybe it would be okay, Kagami knowing. Ladybug trusted Kagami. Her and Chat could just work harder to make sure she wasn’t akumatized. Ladybug would have to figure out why they broke up. Then they could fix it, and Kagami would be happy and Adrien would be happy, and Kagami wouldn’t be akumatized over Adrien again, and Ladybug’s heart would be completely shattered but she’d have her partner back.

Just as she’d resolved herself to this fate, the voice of doubt crept back in. _Do you really think that would work? Or do you just want it to?_

By this point, Alya’s previous glee at Ladybug’s confession had dropped off her face entirely, leaving only bewilderment and concern. _Right,_ Ladybug thought. _I should say something._

“Alya, even if I can keep my head around him… how do I know I’m making this decision for the right reasons?” Ladybug felt her voice waver, but she continued on. “I’m the Guardian, and I should be making decisions based on what’s right, not on my feelings. But with Chat… I’m biased.”

“Maybe that’s okay, girl,” Alya reached forward and took both of Ladybug’s hands in hers. “You’re allowed to have feelings, you know. Just because you’re the Guardian of a bunch of magic jewelry doesn’t mean you stop being a person. Or that you should. Maybe you need to trust your gut on this one.”

Alya paused with a thoughtful expression on her face, and resumed. “And no matter what you decide, Ladybug, I’ll still be your fan.”

Ladybug bit her lip, and nodded. This time, she didn’t try to stop the tears that were building at the corners of her eyes. She didn’t try to stop the small smile creeping up her face, either.

“Thank you, Alya,” she said. “You have no idea how much I needed to hear that.”

“Anytime,” Alya responded, smiling back.

“And,” Ladybug said, “I think there’s something I need you to give back.”

Alya let out a small “oh!” and pulled her hands back. 

“Did you mean… this?” Alya waggled her fingers in front of Ladybug, the bronze of the ring glinting in the light of the window. “You’re really gonna give it back to him?”

“I… I want to. I still need to talk to Tikki, but… Alya, I want to, so much.”

Instead of responding to Ladybug, Alya turned back towards the window and called out, “Plagg! She decided! I renounce you!”

Ladybug wasn’t sure, but she could’ve sworn she heard the small god of destruction yell “Yeeesssss!” as he was sucked unceremoniously back into the ring.

Alya slipped the black ring off her finger without any additional fanfare, and held it out for Ladybug to take.

When Ladybug went to grab it from her hand, though, Alya laid her other hand on top of hers to stop her.

“Hey, Ladybug, I’m glad you’re doing this, but… I really liked being a hero. And I know I can’t be Mane Coon, and I can’t be Rena Rouge anymore either, but… do you think I’ll get the chance to be a hero again?”

Ladybug nodded. “Of course, Alya. You’ll always be your first choice when it comes to picking heroes.”

Alya considered this, pursing her lips. “You mean, your second choice.”

“No, I mean—”

Alya interrupted. “I’m your second choice, because Chat Noir is your first. Isn’t that right?”

“Yeah, that’s right,” said Ladybug, her small smile blossoming into a grin. “He is.”

* * *

That night, after she’d eaten dinner and said goodnight to her parents, Marinette sat on the bed with her legs crossed, the ring laying on the mattress in front of her.

“Tikki,” Marinette said to the small goddess floating in front of her. “I want to give it back to him. I don’t want a new partner.”

“Okay, Marinette,” Tikki agreed.

“Okay? But I thought… didn’t you agree with me before, that taking it was the right thing to do?” Marinette didn’t understand. Tikki wouldn’t lie. Had she changed her mind?

“And I still think it was the right thing, Marinette,” Tikki replied, a grave look on her face. “Master Fu made that rule for a reason, and it’s safer for your identities to be a secret from everyone. But Master Fu’s not in charge anymore, Marinette. You are. You’re the Guardian. It’s your choice who you give a Miraculous to.”

“But, shouldn’t I listen to Master Fu’s rules? I’m just a kid, and I never finished my guardian training before he had to pass it on to me. And that was my fault, too, my poor decision making.” Marinette bit her lip.

“Marinette, Master Fu chose you for a reason!” Tikki chirped. “He never finished his training, either, remember?”

“That’s true, but…” Marinette looked down and realized she’d clenched her blankets in her fists. She quickly let go and tried to smooth out the blanket as Tikki resumed talking.

“He chose you because of who you are, Marinette. You don’t need to be him. You need to be you.” Tikki fluttered down next to Marinette’s hands and peered up at her. “Master Fu made mistakes, just like anyone else. But choosing you to be the Guardian wasn’t one of them. And neither was choosing you and Adrien to be partners.”

Marinette nodded. Her chest felt like it was about to burst, and she wasn’t sure what would happen if it did.

“Marinette,” Tikki continued. “Do you remember when he chose you to be Guardian?”

“Yes,” Marinette croaked out. “It was after we defeated Feast.”

“Exactly!” Tikki chirped. “When he took your earring because he didn’t think there was another solution, and you found a solution anyway. You knew he was wrong, and you didn’t accept his answer. Master didn’t choose you to follow in his footsteps. He chose you to forge a better path.”

Marinette blinked back tears. She’d always been so grateful to have Tikki and her support, but this level of faith was overwhelming.

“Trust yourself, Marinette,” said Tikki earnestly. “Trust your heart. What does it tell you?”

Marinette closed her eyes, and tried to listen, the way she did when she meditated with maman. 

_Chat_ , her heart said, as she pictured him in her mind’s eye, smiling and winking with his hair sparkling in the sunlight. 

_Chat_ , as she thought about him following her lead every single in battle without missing a beat. 

_Chat,_ who made her heart beat faster when he kissed her hand. Who made her groan at his silly jokes and cry when he jumped in front of her every time an akuma almost landed a hit. 

_Chat,_ who had always seemed larger than life but who was actually the kind-hearted, sad-eyed boy who she’d loved since she first met. 

_Chat,_ whom she loved and didn’t want to be without for a second longer.

Marinette shot up, standing on her bed and nodding. “Okay, Tikki! I’m going to do it! I’m ready!” Marinette shouted, pumping her fist in the air. “Let’s go! Tikki, spots on!”


	7. comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ladybug pops the question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [sagansjagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/works) for betaing!

Adrien idly fingered the keys on his piano. He should be practicing his Chopin, he knew, but he just couldn’t focus. Anytime he looked at the sheet music, his head started feeling fuzzy and his fingers felt thick and clumsy. He sighed and rested his head in his hands, resting his elbows on the piano. It was only when the resulting discordant chime of the piano sounded that he realized he’d smashed his elbows into the piano keys themselves.

Straightening himself, he grabbed the offending paper and placed it carefully in the small, black binder he kept all his loose sheet music in. Turning back to the piano, he started plucking out a jaunty tune that he had turned to in the past to cheer himself up when he was upset or worried, like when he’d witnessed Nathalie’s dizzy spell the day they’d visited the Louvre for the statue unveiling. He’d tried to practice piano then, too, but he hadn’t really felt better until he’d switched to playing ragtime and— 

A sudden pang shot through him as his fingers slammed down on the keys, the sound echoing in his ears as he was painfully reminded of what—or rather, who—had really cheered him up that day. And exactly who wasn’t here anymore to finish the other half of the duet.

Adrien blinked back tears. He shouldn’t dwell on this. Plagg was gone and he needed to accept it. Ladybug had made her decision, and he had to accept it, no matter how much it hurt. He was the one who hadn’t been careful enough with his identity. Adrien was the one who hadn’t been able to come up with convincing enough excuses to pull the wool over the eyes of his perceptive ex-girlfriend, and he had to live with the consequences of that.

He hoped Plagg was okay. He hoped Ladybug was okay. He knew there’d been an akuma battle earlier that day, but he’d been stuck in class, unable to get out to help or even watch. He’d been stuck in his room, biting his nails with the rest of the city, his heart constricted with worry until he’d seen the telltale sign of ladybugs sweeping throughout the city indicating that Ladybug had been victorious. 

It had felt like hours at the time, but Adrien knew that must have been a byproduct of his worry, a distortion of his sense of time as a result of his frazzled state. Ladybug never took that long to defeat a run-of-the-mill akuma. He’d tried to check the Ladyblog afterwards, but hadn’t been able to find any information on the battle, which was unusual for Alya. Even if she didn’t manage to catch the battle live, Alya usually had posted something by now, but there was radio silence. 

_Maybe it was taking longer because Ladybug has a new partner_ , he thought. _Maybe she’s writing a post on how great he is, and how much Alya liked him better than Chat Noir. How much better Ladybug liked him than Chat Noir._ _Maybe Alya’s writing a 20 page analysis on the fantastic teamwork of Ladybug and the other boy, and how worthless Chat Noir had been. Maybe_ —

Adrien’s spiraling of self-recrimination and doubt was suddenly interrupted by a thunk at the window.  _ Probably a pigeon that didn’t see the glass again _ , he thought.  _ I hate pigeons. _

But it wasn’t a pigeon. It wasn’t a pigeon at all.

Because the breathtaking vision in red hanging by a string by one hand and knocking on his closed window with her other was  _ Ladybug _ .

Why was she here?

Adrien shot up to a stand so quickly that his vision went black for a moment. He idly noted that he had accidentally knocked over his piano bench in the process, but disregarded the irrelevant piece of furniture to focus on his visitor. He sprinted over to the window, opening it to let her in. 

He only had a moment to register the tear tracks on her cheeks before he had to brace himself for the impact of Ladybug launching herself into him. He could smell the salt of her tears mingling with the scent of her shampoo as she buried her face into his neck, chanting something he couldn’t quite make out. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around her small frame, pulling her closer into him when she didn’t resist.

Why was she here?  _ Why was she crying? _

He wanted to ask, but he didn’t think it was his place. Not anymore. Maybe it never had been. But a small, traitorous, hopeful voice whispered,  _ she came here, to you, for a reason, didn’t she? _ He ignored it. He wouldn’t get his hopes up. If he didn’t expect anything, he wouldn’t be disappointed. She probably just needed to cry to someone about superhero business, and his replacement had been too busy for her.

_ I would never have been too busy for her, _ he thought, as he brought his hand up to stroke her hair. He’d never been able to appreciate the silky texture before—the few times Ladybug had allowed him this close, his fingers had been covered and he’d had to be conscious of his claws getting tangled in her hair. Adrien savored the sensation. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get the chance again. Adrien wasn’t sure why she’d come to him at all, but he certainly didn’t expect her to ever return.

He wasn’t sure how long they stood there, wrapped up in each other, as she cried. Too long for her to be crying. Not long enough to have her in his arms. 

When her tears slowed and she stepped back, he felt a chill where she had been. His arms chased after her without his permission like heat-seeking missiles, only for the sight of her sudden, brilliant smile to send the warmth he sought directly into his chest. He didn’t think he would ever feel cold again if she just kept smiling at him like that.

_ Stop it, Adrien,  _ he chastised himself as he painstakingly dragged his eyes away from her brilliance.  _ She doesn’t even want you as her partner, let alone anything else. _

“Adrien,” she said, stepping back towards him. Ladybug’s hand came up to his cheek, gently turning his face back towards hers. Her eyes were still watery but her face was filled with what looked to him like hope. “Can we talk?”

An echo of the hope in her eyes flickered to life in his chest. He tried to smother it.

He cleared his throat, hoping that the action would straighten his thoughts enough that he wouldn’t say anything stupid, but his brain was starting to feel fuzzy again and it was hard to think about anything besides the palm of her hand on his cheek.

“S-sure,” he managed, his voice only squeaking a little bit.  _ Get it together, Agreste _ .

“O-oh great! I mean, okay! I mean, um,” Ladybug drew her hand back from his face to twist it together with her other hand, drawing his attention down. He noted for the first time that her other hand was still balled into the same tight fist she had knocked on the window with. That seemed odd, but he wasn’t going to question it and distract her from whatever she wanted to say.

“I’m sorry, Adrien,” Ladybug said, biting her lip. He missed her smile.

“It’s fine, Ladybug, take your time,” he responded, trying to arrange his face into a facade of patience. He was desperate to hear what she had to say, but he didn’t want to push her. If he did, she might not tell him at all.

“No!” she shouted, making him jump. “Not—not that. I mean, I’m sorry for that, too, that my words are all messed up and this isn’t how I thought this would go at all, but that’s not really—that’s not what I’m apologizing for. Not the big thing. The main thing? It’s, um,” she paused, taking in a deep breath, and continued at breakneck speed, “I’m just sorry about all of this and I’m sorry I took your ring and ruined your life and you probably hate me now but I miss you so much and I don’t want to do this without you ever again.”

Adrien blinked dumbly at the rambling superheroine in front of him. She… what? How? Why? He didn’t understand. She was sorry for taking the ring? He already knew that, didn’t he? She had said so that night. Why was she saying this now? What didn’t she want to do again? It almost sounded like… no, that couldn’t be it. He had promised himself he wouldn’t hope for things he couldn’t have anymore.

“Adrien?” Her voice was shaky now. “Please say something.”

He shook himself. “I’m sorry, Ladybug, I just… I could never hate you. I’m just a little lost right now. Could you repeat that, a little slower this time?”

She nodded slowly, her lips curling back up into a grin. Adrien couldn’t follow why she was stepping back, didn’t understand when she suddenly dropped down into a kneel, couldn’t process her reaching out her fist and finally spreading out her fingers to reveal what she’d been holding on to so tight this entire time. Was that…?

“Adrien Agreste,” she said, looking up at him with an unreadable expression in the depths of her bright blue eyes, “Here is the Miraculous of the Cat, which grants the power of destruction. You will use it for the greater good. Will you be my partner again? Will you be my Chat Noir?”


	8. falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May the Plagg be with you, Adrien.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to [sagansjagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/works) for looking over this chapter.

“...Will you be my Chat Noir?” 

Ladybug’s words hung in the air between them, their echo an almost tangible presence hovering over the ring in her palm. He wanted to reach out and snatch at them, so that they couldn’t escape, but he was too afraid they’d vanish into smoke at his touch.

“You want me to be Chat Noir again?” he asked tentatively. Surely, he’d heard wrong.

Ladybug jumped up to a stand so quickly that he suddenly wasn’t sure she’d ever been kneeling at all. “Yes! I mean, if you still want to, I understand if you don’t, if you’re—”

“Of course I want to!” The words burst out of Adrien’s mouth before he could consider them. “I mean, yes, I will, I want to.” His neck felt hot, so he lifted his hand to cool it, only to realize the heat of his hand made it worse. Adrien dropped his arm and shoved both hands into his pockets to keep them in check. He wasn’t sure what he would do if he allowed them their freedom, and he wasn’t sure what liberties he could take.

“Oh good, that’s, that’s great then,” Ladybug said, her smile wobbly and her cheeks pink.

“I’m just a bit confused,” Adrien admitted, scuffing his feet on the hardwood and ducking his head. “Why did you change your mind? I mean, nothing’s changed, has it? Kagami still knows, and it’s still not safe.”

“You’re right, it’s still not. You’ll be in more danger than ever. It’s a risk. A huge risk. But…”

“But…?” Adrien rocked forward on his heels.

“You know you’re irreplaceable, Adrien.” He didn’t know that. He wasn’t sure it was true, either, but it felt good to hear her say it anyway.

Adrien heard Ladybug inhale sharply before she continued. “I was so focused on being a good Guardian, on keeping everyone safe and living up to Master Fu’s expectations, that I convinced myself that taking your ring was the best choice, even though it hurt. But I was wrong.” Ladybug paused, and shook her head. “No, I was scared. It felt wrong, taking the ring, but I thought it was the right thing. Does that make sense? I didn’t—I thought I had to do it. I thought that was my job, being responsible for the Miracle Box.”

“I know, Ladybug,” Adrien answered. He still didn’t understand what had changed. “You’ve always tried to do what’s best.”

“Thank you, Adrien,” Ladybug’s smile was clearer this time. “I do try to do the right thing. And this _is_ the right thing. Even though it’s dangerous. Even though Master Fu might have done something different. He was scared, too, you know. His priority was keeping the Miraculous safe, but that’s not the Guardian’s only job. The Guardian has to make decisions, sometimes hard ones, and I’m ready to make those decisions now.”

Ladybug stepped forward and held out the ring again. “The Guardian’s job is to decide who the best match for each Miraculous is. And even though Master Fu made mistakes, choosing you wasn’t one of them. Plagg belongs with you.”

Adrien’s face felt hot. His eyes were burning and his fingers twitched. He didn’t know how to respond. He must’ve looked like an idiot, standing there and saying nothing in response to Ladybug’s heart wrenchingly honest speech, but all he could do was stare.

Ladybug cleared her throat and bobbed her open hand in the air to draw his attention back to her palm. “So… um… are you going to take the ring, or…”

“Right! Yes! Sorry, I am. I’m going to take it. Definitely. Going to do that right now.” 

He did not take it.

Ladybug’s eyes flickered down to her hand, and back up to him, and down to her hand again. “Kitty…”

As that single word had reached deep into the parts of him he’d tried to shut off that night she took his ring and closed the window, Adrien felt his entire being shudder to life. He’d been a statue before, and now he was a boy again. 

Adrien stepped forward and stretched his hand out towards her. His hand hovered over hers for a few seconds, their palms almost kissing, before he bunched his fingers together with his thumb to delicately lift the ring out of her supine hand. As his fingers shifted the cool metal down into his palm, he was suffused with a sense of wholeness.

Ladybug gave him a nod, small and sure, as he pulled his hand away from hers with the ring in his fist. He felt a grin spread across his face unbidden, and he surely looked like a fool, but he didn’t care anymore. He slipped the ring on his finger.

Immediately, he was confronted with a faceful of kwami as he was reunited with his erstwhile companion. “Plagg!” He shouted, laughing as he reached up to pet the tiny god.

“Don’t get all sappy on me, kid.” Plagg sniffed, leaning into Adrien’s hands and rubbing his ears against Adrien’s thumb. 

Adrien laughed again. “I missed you too, Plagg.”

When he looked up at Ladybug again, her smile was bright enough to light up his entire room.

“I’ve never seen the two of you together before,” she said, her voice thick. “You’re so sweet.”

“Don’t think you’re off the hook just because you took me home, Pigtails,” Plagg responded, but Adrien could tell he wasn’t really angry.

“I would never assume such a thing,” Ladybug said, and winked at Adrien. His whole body felt hot. “I’ll give you boys some time alone, if you like.”

“No!” Adrien shouted, and then tried to collect his dignity. “I mean, you’re welcome to stay, if you want. I thought maybe I could… um, maybe I could transform for you?”

Ladybug stared.

“Nevermind, that was stupid,” he continued, scratching the back of his neck. “I don’t know why I said that. I’m sure you have better things to do.”

“That sounds wonderful, Adrien,” said Ladybug, her voice soft and sweet. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be right now than here with you.”

“Ugh,” Plagg interjected. “Just transform already and spare me the pain of watching you idiots dance around each other. You still remember how, right?”

Adrien felt a rush of gratitude for his kwami for saving him the embarrassment of melting into a puddle in front of his partner. “It’s only been three days, Plagg. Of course I do.”

“Felt like longer,” Plagg grumbled. Adrien was touched. He wanted to spend more time with Plagg, but he also didn’t want to waste Ladybug’s time.

“Plagg, claws out!” Adrien yelled, punching his right fist out in front of him and pulling his other arm back into his side. He reveled in the feeling of electric green energy shooting over him as he swiped his fingers across his face and combed his hands back through his hair, leaving his mask and cat ears in place. He shot his arms and legs out, opening his body up for display as the magic washed over the rest of him. He ended it with a few swipes with his claws in the air, but stopped short when he heard Ladybug’s laughter.

Just as he was ready to crawl under his couch in embarrassment, Ladybug did something he would’ve never expected: she started clapping.

“That was great!” She said, smiling at him fondly. He felt a giddy sort of energy shooting through him, and he blamed that sensation entirely for his next actions.

Without thinking, Chat Noir stepped forward, sweeping her into his arms and spinning her around in the air. “I’m back!” His cheeks hurt from smiling so wide. “I’m back, I’m back!”

Ladybug giggled as he set her down in front of him, her cheeks flushed. He tried to step back, but she held onto his hands, interlacing her fingers with his. Looking at her standing there, slightly out of breath in the fluorescent lights of his bedroom with her pigtails slightly askew, Chat Noir thought he’d never seen anything more beautiful.

Oh. Oh shit. 

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not anymore. _You can’t_ , he told himself. _You’re lucky she took you back at all. Don’t ask for more. Don’t want so much. Don’t start falling in love with her again._

He did his best to ignore the voice that responded, _who says you ever stopped?_


	9. cuddles (and stargazing)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ladybug wants to cuddle, but she and Chat still have a lot of things to talk about. But Ladybug isn't the only one he wants to cuddle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo technically this was for day 13, but life happened and I'm officially behind schedule. It was inevitable, but I am still committed to finishing the story, just a little slower than before! Have some bonus day 2: stargazing along with day 13: cuddles in apology.
> 
> Thanks so much to [sagansjagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/works) for beta-ing this for me and always being so supportive of my writing!

By the time Chat Noir had finally managed to shove his disobedient heart back in his chest where it belonged, he and Ladybug had somehow made their way to his couch. Chat sat a few inches forward on the seat cushion, with his hands in his lap and his feet planted on the floor, keeping him grounded. Ladybug had squeezed in next to him, her hand resting on her thigh which pressed lightly against his, just close enough for their pinkies to touch. 

She was so, so close. He wanted to be closer. He itched to move his hand over to cover hers, but he resisted.

Ladybug, however, did not seem to share his reservations. Letting out a soft sigh, she scooted even closer to rest her head on his shoulder. Chat looked straight ahead, not sure how to respond to this display of affection and worried that if he moved at all she’d pull back completely.

He just barely felt the brush of her hand ghosting over his when she yanked her hand away. Chat’s head turned to follow the motion. Ladybug was angled away from him now, her hands tugging her pigtails down as she let out a strange sort of wheezing sound.

After about 30 seconds of frantic tugging and indecipherable utterances, Ladybug turned back to face him with an alarmingly-wide smile.

“I bet you’re eager to go take that suit out for a spin!” Ladybug let out a strange, frantic laughter. Her laugh seemed familiar to Chat, but he couldn’t place where he’d heard it before. He didn’t think it was from Ladybug.

But he didn’t spend too much time examining it, either, because Ladybug was right: he was ready to fly out into the night, to leap through the rooftops, to stretch his claws out and reach for the stars.

He smiled and nodded before standing up to take his place next to her. “Let’s blow this pawpsicle stand, little bug.”

She nodded back at him with a tiny smirk as she reached down to her yo-yo at her waist. As she flung the yo-yo out the window, she reached her other hand out to him. He took it.

* * *

Although they left his bedroom together, Ladybug and Chat Noir separated in the air. As much as he hesitated to break his grasp on her hand, Chat was eager to propel himself through the air by his own power. They fell apart, and then together, and apart again, as they raced through the city side by side, never losing sight of the other. Chat reveled in the way his hands felt around the cool metal of his baton, the way his biceps flexed and shifted to adjust for his weight, the pushback of the rooftops on his feet when he sprang off them. He was drowning in the sensations of the night air and the moonlight and the ringing laughter of his partner.

By the time they stopped, he was breathless with exhilaration and Ladybug was beaming, her smile bright against the evening sky as she stopped to catch her breath.

“Let’s rest for a bit, Kitty,” Ladybug said, pulling him down by his arm as she lowered herself down to the roof. Chat followed her down without resistance, taking a seat next to her. She didn’t let go of his arm.

They sat for a few minutes, staring out at the stars, before Ladybug spoke again.

“I hate to bring this up,” she said, drawing back her hand from his arm. “But we need to talk about Kagami.”

Chat didn’t want to talk about Kagami, but he knew she was right.

“She won’t tell anyone. You know she won’t. I know her identity as Ryuuko was exposed, but that was an accident. She wouldn't betray our trust,” he said. Even if she wasn’t his girlfriend anymore, Chat trusted Kagami. He hoped Ladybug did, too. She had to, right?

“I know she wouldn’t do it on purpose, Chat, but… if she gets akumatized…”

Chat winced. Ladybug was right. Kagami knowing at all was a danger. That was why Ladybug took the ring in the first place, after all. Would she change her mind again? He couldn’t bear it if she did, but he didn’t know what else to do. 

He tried to think of something to say, anything, that could reassure Ladybug, but before he could come up with something, she spoke again.

“We will just have to do our best to prevent her from being akumatized again.”

That made sense. It was a good plan. Except…

“How can we prevent that, Ladybug?”

“Well,” Ladybug met his eyes briefly, then glanced away. “The reasons she was akumatized before… both times had to do with you.”

Chat felt an uncomfortable pang in his chest. He didn’t want to be the cause of Kagami’s upset. He’d felt awful about it the last time, and it had been mostly Lila’s doing then. He didn’t want her akumatized again for any reason, but he’d feel especially terrible if it had to do with him. She had seemed… accepting, when they broke up, but with Ladybug’s words, doubt gnawed at him. Was Kagami more hurt than she let on? He hoped not.

“I don’t mean to pry, but…” Ladybug turned to face him and continued. “Why did you two break up, anyway?”

Chat looked away, unwilling to face the answer directly. 

“It doesn’t matter,” he mumbled.

“Of course it does! Maybe we… maybe we can fix it. Maybe I can help…” Ladybug trailed off. When he looked back at her, she was biting her lip and staring at her lap, where her hands twisted together.

Chat sighed, suddenly exhausted by the turn the conversation had taken. Ladybug meant well, he knew, but…

“It’s not really… something that can be fixed. Or something that she wants to fix,” he shrugged. “Or wait for me to fix, I guess.”

“Oh,” Ladybug responded softly. “If you’re sure…”

He looked away again, and nodded towards the roof.

“I could check in with her, then, to make sure she’s doing okay,” Ladybug continued, with slightly more pep in her voice. “Maybe she needs someone to talk to about it.”

Chat held his gaze on the concrete of the roof, carefully examining the way the moonlight highlighted the rough texture as he responded. “No offense, LB, but I’m pretty sure you’re the last person Kagami would want to talk to about this.”

Ladybug let out a small exhale of air. He wondered what her face looked like, but wasn’t ready to look. Surely, she’d figured him out. She knew how he felt, after all.

Unwilling to hear her attempts to let him down gently, or worse, encourage him to try again with Kagami, he spoke again.

“I’ll ask Marinette to check in with her, if you want.”

“Marinette?” Ladybug’s voice sounded puzzled.

“Yeah, she’s friends with Kagami. And if anyone can cheer someone up after a broken heart, it’s Marinette. She can brighten anyone’s day. I know she always makes mine better.” And then, as always, once he started talking about Marinette, he couldn’t help himself from continuing. “I just wish I knew why she’s been avoiding me lately. Maybe she’s already talked to Kagami, and she’s mad at me on Kagami’s behalf?”

“You think… you think Marinette is upset with you?” Ladybug’s voice sounded strained. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“Nothing you could’ve done, Ladybug. I just hope I haven’t lost her friendship entirely.”

“I’m sure you haven’t,” she responded softly. Chat hoped she was right. He’d be devastated if Marinette didn’t want to be his friend anymore, even if he deserved it for hurting Kagami.

“In fact, I guarantee it. I’m sure Marinette will get over herself tomorrow,” she continued, firmer now. “In the meantime, if you want to talk about what happened with Kagami, you have a friend right here. Maybe it’ll help you to talk about it. I’m here to listen.”

Chat still didn’t want to talk about Kagami, not with Ladybug. But at the same time, he couldn’t really talk to any of his other friends about why they’d really broken up, not without giving away his identity. He couldn’t exactly tell Nino that Kagami dumped him after learning he was a superhero with unresolved feelings for his partner. But he wasn’t sure he wanted to say that to Ladybug, either.

Finally, he settled on an explanation that didn’t implicate the girl sitting next to him. He didn’t want to make her feel guilty for something she didn’t want.

“Kagami said she no longer thought we were meant for each other,” he admitted.

“Oh, Kitty, I’m so sorry,” Ladybug’s voice was laced with sympathy as she reached her hand out to comfort him. He took it, greedily, but still didn’t look her in the eye.

“It’s… fine, I think,” he continued, craning his head up to look at the sky. “I could’ve told her the same thing. I’m pretty sure at some point I did. But I… I was trying to let go of that. The idea that people are meant to be.”

Ladybug squeezed his hand briefly and scooted herself closer to him. When he finally looked at her, all he could see was the top of her head. She was facing his lap, where their hands were intertwined.

“Maybe we don’t have to let go of things, Chat Noir,” she whispered quietly into their hands. “Maybe we should hold them closer.”

Chat wasn’t sure what she meant by that, exactly, but that didn’t stop him from leaning into her and resting his cheek in the silk of her hair. He squeezed her hand back.

This time, when he looked back at the stars, they were looking together.

* * *

After their rooftop conversation, Chat Noir and Ladybug had resumed their jaunt through the city, racing each other past the city’s landmarks. Chat stopped frequently at his favorite spots, but Ladybug never seemed to be too far ahead. He knew that meant she must’ve stopped and waited, and he was grateful that she if she felt any impatience with him, she didn’t let it show.

When they landed on the roof of Françoise Dupont and his house came into view, it was time to split up. Instead of heading towards his house, Chat turned in the other direction, only for Ladybug’s hand to stop him before he could vault away.

“Where are you going, Chat? Your house is that way,” Ladybug said with her brows furrowed, pointing her hand in the direction of the Agreste mansion.

Chat reached to scratch the back of his neck, feeling suddenly unsure in the face of her scrutiny. “I was… going to Marinette’s. To ask her to check in with Kagami, like we talked about?”

Ladybug pinched the bridge of her nose. “Kitty, you can’t ask her that _as Chat Noir_. She’d be suspicious.”

Oh. Of course she would. He felt like an idiot. Was Ladybug upset with him? He bit back the rising panic in his chest. _She wouldn’t take it again, would she? Not this soon._ But he’d almost made another mistake. _Maybe she’d decide she couldn’t trust me after all…_

His thoughts were interrupted by Ladybug placing a hand on his shoulder.

“I’ll take care of it, okay, Chat?”

“Wouldn’t Marinette be suspicious of you, too?” He asked, cocking his head. Chat understood why he shouldn’t go visit Marinette in costume, but he assumed the same was true of his partner.

Ladybug drew her hand back and let out a short laugh. _What an odd reaction,_ he thought. 

“Ah, right, well, ah… the thing is… no, um, that’s right. I shouldn’t visit her. You should, um, talk to her as Adrien. I’m just going to go home, and not visit anyone, and you shouldn’t think about the direction I’m going in because it definitely doesn’t have anything to do with Marinette.”

Chat blinked, trying to process what Ladybug said. Was she planning to visit Marinette or not? Why else would she go in that direction? Unless…

“Is that where you live?” He asked, and then immediately backtracked. He knew better than to cross that line. “Sorry, don’t answer that. I know you can’t tell me.”

“But—” Ladybug started, and then covered her mouth with her hand. “Right. I can’t tell you, can I? I still can’t.” Her eyes dropped to the ground and shoulders sagged.

Chat stepped closer, putting his hand on her shoulder this time. “It’s okay, little bug. I never expected that to change.”

He meant to assure her, but if anything, she seemed to shrink into herself even further at his words. 

“I guess not,” she said, her voice cracking at the end. “I guess this is goodnight, then.”

“I guess so. Goodnight, Ladybug,” he said, preparing to leave in the direction of his house this time, before Ladybug stopped him from leaving a second time that night. This time, however, instead of a single hand in warning, it was all of her, wrapped around him tightly. He wrapped his arms around her in return, resting his chin on the top of her head. 

When she pulled back, her eyes were watery but she was smiling again. 

“Goodnight, kitty,” she said, and then she was gone.

* * *

After separating from Ladybug, Chat Noir headed home. When he finally arrived, he was exhausted. After the last three days of muted disappointment, the whirlwind of emotions he’d spun through today had completely wiped him out. It was only earlier that afternoon that he’d sat at the computer frantically refreshing the Ladyblog for hopes of an update on the akuma battle, unable to do anything but wait for Ladybug to save the day without him.

But now, he wouldn’t have to do that. Now that he had his ring back. Now that he had Plagg back.

 _Plagg!_ He could see Plagg now! With one last burst of eagerness at the thought of his kwami, Chat shouted, “Claws in!”

He felt a tiny sense of loss as the magic swept away from his body, but his happiness at seeing the tiny floating cat outweighed any downsides to detransforming.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to go all sappy at me again, kid,” Plagg said, crossing his arms in challenge.

“Oh, Plagg,” Adrien laughed. “Never change.”

Later that night, when Adrien laid down to sleep and Plagg went to rest on the other pillow, he settled ever so slightly closer to Adrien’s face than he usually did. Smiling, Adrien tugged the pillow towards him and wrapped his arm around it so that Plagg was nudged up against his cheek. Plagg made a soft grunting noise before closing his eyes and wiggling deeper into the pillow. 

Adrien slept better than he had in days.


	10. chat blanc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette has a talk with Adrien, and Ladybug has some more decisions to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to [sagansjagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/works) for looking over this chapter.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: please be aware that there is a panic attack depicted in the latter half of this chapter! If you need to skip it, stop the first time Ladybug says "Chat Blanc" and continue again when Alya says "Ladybug."

The morning after returning the ring to her partner, Marinette gave herself a pep talk before heading to school.

“You are going to talk to Adrien today,” she said, facing herself in the mirror. “You are going to talk to him like a normal person, like you were doing before you learned he was Chat.”

Mirror Marinette didn’t look very confident, so Marinette kept going. “You are going to talk to him, and you are not going to accidentally give away your identity, or that you know his, and more importantly, you are not going to make him feel worse by saying something ridiculous and running away.”

Her reflection still didn’t look convinced. Marinette screwed up her face in the mirror and tried to rearrange it into something more acceptable. Maybe she could just wear a mask to school and use some borrowed confidence to talk to him...

On second thought, that would probably counter the whole “not accidentally giving away your identity” thing. She sighed.

“Marinette!” Tikki fluttered into the bathroom. “You’re going to be late for class! What are you still doing in the bathroom?”

“Just finishing up, Tikki,” Marinette said, pulling her bangs down in front of her eyes. It was worth a try — it worked for Juleka, after all. But Juleka didn’t have a habit of running into tables and doorframes and could probably survive with her vision obscured. Marinette pushed her bangs back to their usual place on her brow.

“Are you ready now, Marinette?” Tikki asked. Looking into the mirror, Marinette could see her kwami bobbing nervously in the air behind her.

“As I’ll ever be, Tikki,” she replied, and put her game face on. Ready or not, it was time for school.

* * *

Marinette squeezed into the classroom with only seconds to spare before Ms. Bustier started lessons, so Marinette didn’t have a chance to talk with Adrien. She did, however, make a point to smile reassuringly and wave at him when she walked in. He smiled back. Hopefully, he’d get the message that she wasn’t upset with him.

Paying attention was easier today than it had been the last few days. Adrien seemed better now, and thankfully, Alya didn’t seem too upset about losing her chance to work with Ladybug. Marinette was still worried about the possibility of talking to Adrien, but she was able to take notes just fine.

Despite her ease during class, she couldn’t stop herself from feeling flustered when Adrien approached her after the lecture ended. _ Breathe, Marinette, _ she reminded herself,  _ you knew this was coming. _

“Hey Marinette,” Adrien said, scratching the back of his neck. Chat had done the same thing last night. How had she never noticed how similar their mannerisms were? It seemed obvious now.

“Do you think we could talk? Alone?” Adrien continued with a half smile, his brows folding up into a point. “It won’t take long, I promise.”

Marinette took a deep breath.  _ You’re not going to hurt him again, _ she reminded herself.  _ This isn’t a hard question, just give him a normal-sounding answer. _

“Sure, Adrien,” she managed. “Let’s go find a spot in the courtyard.”

_ So far, so good, _ she thought. Hopefully her brain-mouth connection could last for an entire conversation.

As they walked together out of the classroom, Marinette tried to focus on her feet and not the boy next to her.  _ Just think about walking, Marinette. There’s no reason to get worked up. You already know what he wants to talk about. _

She only tripped once on the way to the courtyard, and she managed to bite back any cat-related nicknames when Adrien’s arm shot out to catch her. She didn’t manage to avoid dwelling on how safe it made her feel or the stray thought that  _ who knew Chat Noir had such nice forearms? _

She was still trying her best to  _ not think about his forearms _ when they sat down on an unoccupied bench. Adrien seemed oblivious to her internal struggle, but that was nothing new. 

_ Adrien doesn’t know about a lot of things, _ she thought, feeling a pang in her chest. She wished she could tell him, but now there was so much more than the possibility of rejection at stake. She felt a sudden wistfulness for the time when it was only nerves that kept her from being honest with him.

“Marinette,” Adrien started, and she snapped to attention. This was an important conversation, and she didn’t need to be distracted.

_ Don’t think about how nice it sounds when he says your name,  _ she told herself.  _ Definitely don’t think about how much you want to hear Chat Noir say your real name.  _

She was definitely thinking about it.

“I wanted to ask you for a favor, if that’s okay,” Adrien continued. “But first… is everything okay, with us? I feel like you’re avoiding me lately and I’m not sure what I did wrong.”

“No!” Marinette shouted, and then registered the way Adrien’s face fell. “I mean, yes! We’re okay! You didn’t do anything wrong. It was all me. I’m sorry I made you think I was upset with you.” 

_ I’m sorry I can’t tell you why.  _ She wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell him so badly that it hurt. She swallowed the words down and they burnt a hole through her chest.

“It’s okay, Marinette,” he smiled at her softly. “I hope you’re feeling better now.”

“Sure!” she responded, trying to smile back. She wasn’t sure if she was better, not entirely, but he looked like he was, and maybe that could be enough. 

“What did you need?” Marinette continued, hoping to move the conversation away from herself and the things she couldn’t say.

“I, um, I don’t know if you heard, but Kagami and I broke up,” Adrien said, his voice hesitant but open. Unlike last night, he looked directly at her as he spoke. Marinette wondered if Adrien would be willing to tell her more about what happened than he had been willing to share as Chat Noir with Ladybug. She wanted to press for details, but she knew that wouldn’t be fair of her to pry as Marinette for information he’d hid from Ladybug, no matter how much she wanted to know.

_ Besides, even if they broke up for the reason I suspect, there’s no guarantee he still feels that way about me. Not after what I did. _

Still, she had to say something. 

“I’m really sorry, Adrien. I know you liked her a lot. Are you doing okay?” She asked. Then to make sure she didn’t leave him time to spill secrets he wanted to keep, she followed up with, “What can I do to help?”

“Oh! I’m… okay, I think. But I’m worried about Kagami, and I’m not sure she’d want to hear from me right now…” Adrien trailed off, looking down at his knees with wide eyes.

“Do you want me to check in on her?” Marinette offered, knowing that’s exactly what he wanted.

He looked back up at her, his grass green eyes shining. “That’d be super awesome of you, Marinette! You’re the best!”

He followed this up with a completely unnecessary wink, and Marinette suddenly couldn’t imagine how she ever thought he couldn’t be her ridiculous partner.  _ He’s so annoying, _ she thought with a sudden swell of affection.  _ I love him so much. _

“N-no goblins—PROBLEM! I can definitely check out Kagami—check in with Kagami!”

The soft way he was looking at her made her want to burst.

* * *

“Tikki,” Marinette whined, flopping face down on her chaise after school that day. “It’s not fair. I want to tell him. He should know.”

“Do you think you should tell him?” Tikki asked gently.

“Noooo,” Marinette moaned into the cushion. “I want to but I shouldn’t. Should I?”

“That’s your decision now, Marinette,” Tikki’s voice was carefully neutral this time.

Marinette appreciated Tikki’s encouragement of her growth as the new Guardian and the way Tikki had supported Marinette’s decision to give Adrien the ring back, but these evasive non-answers were completely infuriating. 

She wanted  _ advice. _ She wanted Tikki to either assuage Marinette’s fears about what would happen if she told Chat Noir, or to tell Marinette that revealing herself was completely out of the question.

Tikki didn’t seem inclined to give any such feedback. This was the second time they’d had this conversation - the first having taken place in an empty bathroom immediately after her talk with Adrien earlier in the day - but it wasn’t going any better than it had the first time.

Marinette rolled over onto her side to look at Tikki, curling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

“I know it’s my decision, Tikki. That’s why it’s scary. What if I make the wrong one? What if I tell him and he—” Her voice cut off as a choking sensation overwhelmed her, the memories of seawater and empty skies and emptier eyes flooding through her mind. They were too much, too much to remember, too much to say out loud. She squeezed her arms tighter around her legs and took in a shaky breath to gather herself, counting in for four, holding, and out for four again, until the water in her brain subsided and her heart was beating at a steady pace again.

“What if I tell him and it’s a mistake,” she finished, hating how shaky her voice sounded.

“You have to trust yourself, Marinette,” was all Tikki said in response.

Marinette groaned and flipped onto her other side, grabbing her pillow and pulling it into her side. Tikki wasn’t going to give Marinette the answers she wanted. But who else could she talk to about this? She couldn’t ask Chat, not without explaining her fears to him, and she suspected that even if she managed to explain herself in a way he understood, he’d be in no place to give advice afterwards.

She couldn’t talk to her parents or to Alya either, not about Ladybug stuff.

Wait.

Why  _ couldn’t _ she talk to Alya? Ladybug talked to Alya. Ladybug talked to Alya about Chat. Alya already knew that Ladybug knew Chat as a civilian, and how she felt about him. Marinette sat up, suddenly energized. She could talk to Alya!

Alya would tell Ladybug what she thought. She had no reason to stay neutral, and Alya was always honest, even when talking to her superhero idol. And Alya still thought Ladybug was a hero, even after Ladybug had broken down crying in front of her. Just like Alya thought Marinette was a hero even after she made a fool of herself in front of a cute boy or tripped over her own feet.

Alya was the perfect person to ask about this.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Ladybug was knocking on the sliding glass doors of the Césaire apartment. She didn’t have to worry about discretion as much this time, since she wasn’t giving Alya a Miraculous. Alya’s parents wouldn’t be suspicious about Ladybug paying a visit to her favorite reporter.

Still, she was mildly dismayed to be greeted by Ella and Etta at the door. Marinette wanted to love kids, she really did, but it was hard to remember that when Alya’s twin sisters were running in circles around her feet chanting “Ladybug! Ladybug! Ladybug!”

Thankfully, the noise of the girls’ shouts quickly summoned Alya, who deftly shooed off the twins before turning back to face Ladybug with an eager smile.

“What’s up, Ladybug? Do you need my help again?”

“I do, Alya.” Ladybug squirmed. She should’ve expected that Alya would assume she was getting a Miraculous again. 

Hoping Alya wouldn’t be too disappointed, Ladybug continued, “I actually really need someone to talk to, if that’s okay. Off the record.”

“Oh,” Alya’s smile faded a bit but seemed no less genuine. “Of course. I’m totally down to be your super sounding board!”

The pressure in Ladybug’s chest eased slightly. 

“Thank you, Alya,” Ladybug said, and heard a shriek from Etta coming from the other room. “Do you mind if I take us somewhere quieter?”

“Do I  _ mind? _ Are you kidding? Please, take me wherever you want! My body is ready.”

Ladybug laughed and scooped Alya up into her arms before swinging them both out towards the sky.

* * *

Ladybug landed with a soft thump on the top of  Montparnasse Tower and set Alya down beside her.

Alya grinned and spread her arms out, twirling around and looking up at the sky, the ombre tips of her hair glowing in the sunset. Ladybug drank in the sight, drawing in strength from the warm colors and the way the light painted the tower so differently than her nightmares.

After enjoying the experience of spinning in the open air on top of the world for a few moments, Alya spun to a stop and plopped down on the center of the roof with her legs crossed. 

“So, what did you need to talk about, Ladybug? Did everything go okay with Chat Noir?” She asked, patting the space on the roof next to her in invitation. Ladybug sat next to her friend, stretching her legs out in front of her and leaning back on her arms.

“No. I mean yes! It went fine, he agreed to take the ring back. I think we’re okay,” Ladybug replied. She hoped so, anyway. He hadn’t seemed upset at her, but it wasn’t like their relationship had gone back to the way it was before either. She just wasn’t sure how much of that was her and how much was him.

“Of course he took it back, why wouldn’t he?” Alya asked. She sounded genuinely bewildered by the concept of not accepting a Miraculous.

“I don’t know, I just —I was worried I’d ruined things. I’m still worried. That’s why I wanted to talk,” Ladybug admitted. “I told you the other night that I have… feelings for Chat Noir.”

“No offense, Ladybug, but the only person in Paris who didn’t know that was you.”

Ladybug shot her a glare.

“Sorry, sorry, I’ll stop,” Alya said, waving her hands out in apology. “Please, continue.”

“As I was saying, I told you how I feel. And that I know him as a civilian,” Ladybug said, and inhaled slowly in preparation for the rest of what she had to say. “But there’s something else I didn’t tell you… something I haven’t talked about with anyone before.”

“Something about Chat Noir?” Alya asked.

“Yes, about Chat Noir… and me,” Ladybug said, pulling her knees into her chest. “This… this is where it happened.”

“Sorry, but I’m not following… where what happened?”

“Where I fought Chat Blanc.” Ladybug dropped her head into her knees. She heard a sharp gasp from Alya.

“I did something, something stupid and selfish, trying to confess to him—civilian him, I mean,” Ladybug clarified, speaking at the ground. “And he figured out who I was.”

“So he knows?” Alya’s voice was warm and soft.

“No. No, he doesn’t. That’s why—that’s why we’re here. When he knew, he… Chat Blanc. He was an akuma,” Ladybug managed.

“I think you’d better start from the beginning, Ladybug,” Alya prodded gently.

Ladybug took in a deep breath and looked up at her friend, whose face remained carefully neutral. Alya was right—she needed the full story. Otherwise Alya couldn’t help. So Ladybug had to tell the full story.

Bracing herself, she began, “After I gave—after I did the stupid thing, Bunnyx found me.”

At Alya’s questioning look, Ladybug clarified, “She’s from the future. Can travel through time. Came to get me. We… went to this place, in the portal, this place with windows, and… I couldn’t look in the windows, there was a bowl.”

Ladybug was rambling, but she couldn’t stop herself. If she didn’t ramble, she’d get to the point. Ladybug wasn’t ready for the point.

But Alya was.

“Okay, so you time traveled?” Alya asked for clarification.

Ladybug nodded, and swallowed down the rest of the extra words. They were thick in her throat, but Alya didn’t want them. She wanted the story.

“Time traveled. Yes. To the… a future.  _ He _ was there.” She had to squeeze these words out, like toothpaste from the bottom of an almost-empty tube. She wrapped her arms tighter around herself as if she could physically force the rest of the story out of her aching, hollow chest.

Alya didn’t say anything this time, but reached out her hand into the space between them. Ladybug wanted to take it, but she needed her hands to stay where they were. Without her hands squeezing herself together, she’d fall apart.

Instead, she continued speaking. “He was… white. And broken. Everything was broken,” Ladybug took in another shuddering gasp. “White, and broken, and water everywhere, and… and…”

And everything was so big, so empty, so quiet, and she was so small, and she couldn’t get any smaller, couldn’t hide, couldn’t  _ breathe _ . Her lungs felt like they were getting too much air and not enough at all once, and her chest felt tight, tight, tight, and she couldn’t, she  _ couldn’t… _

Distantly, she could hear Alya saying her name, asking her if she was okay, but everything felt so far, like she’d never be able to reach anything ever again, like the water inside her brain had surrounded her and pushed everything away.

Suddenly, she felt hands on her, prying her fingers up, uncovering her and making her open. Ladybug couldn’t face the open world, not without her hands holding her together. She needed… she needed to move, to be safe, she… 

She reached down onto the ground with her hands, keeping her inner softness from facing the sky, clambering away, away, away until she reached an edge to cling onto. 

Ladybug was on her knees, gasping for air when Alya caught up with her.

She felt Alya’s arms wrap tight around her, giving her a firm squeeze, and heard Alya’s voice, calm and soothing. As Ladybug’s frantic gasping started to even out into deep, shaky breaths and the roaring in her ears subsided, she could start to make out Alya’s words, telling her to focus and breathe. Ladybug focused on the warmth of Alya’s arms, the smooth cadence of Alya’s voice, the apple-cinnamon smell of Alya’s hair, the salt of her own tears, and the tiny glint of warm sunlight still peeking out from beyond the horizon.

When her breathing felt steady again, Ladybug unclenched her hand from the metal pole she’d been grasping and turned to face Alya. Alya’s arms loosened to accommodate Ladybug’s movement, but she didn’t let go.

“Ladybug,” Alya said softly. “If you can’t tell me, it’s okay.”

“No, I can. I have to—if I don’t tell you, we can’t figure it out. I need to figure it out.”

“Figure what out?” Alya asked.

“What happened… why he… he said it was our love that destroyed the world,” Ladybug squeezed her eyes tight, but here in the corner with her friend holding her close, she felt safe enough to continue. “But he also said that things were perfect, before Hawkmoth found out. That once we knew who each other were, it was only a matter of time before everyone knew.”

“So you’re worried about knowing who he is now? That it’ll happen again?”

“No, I… I mean, maybe, but that’s not…” Ladybug opened her eyes and pulled back to look at Alya directly. Alya looked a bit watery. Everything did. “I’m worried because I want him to know who I am too. But I don’t know… I don’t know if it’s safe. I want to tell him so, so much, and it’s not fair to keep it from him… but what if him knowing is what starts it? What if we are safe now, and I ruin it by telling him?”

“Oh, wow, that’s… that’s huge, Ladybug,” Alya’s voice wavered but her hands felt sure where they held Ladybug’s shoulders. “Did he tell you anything else? Chat Blanc, I mean? Anything else we can use to figure it out?”

“No, that’s all… we didn’t talk much,” Ladybug admitted. “We were fighting, and… Bunnyx made it clear I wasn’t supposed to know about the future, so I… did my best to avoid hearing anything. But now… I wish I’d asked more, I wish I knew whether it was him knowing, or me knowing, or us being together, or...” Ladybug trailed off, her mind swimming in uncertainty. 

Alya made a soft humming noise and pursued her lips before responding. “Well, maybe you could still ask.”

“I can’t exactly travel to an erased timeline to question my akumatized partner,” Ladybug responded, withdrawing the rest of the way from Alya’s arms and turning to sit with her back against the glass barrier. Alya settled beside her.

“Well, no, you can’t do that, but you can ask your non-akumatized, current timeline partner,” Alya suggested.

“I can’t do that!” Ladybug’s words slipped out before she could consider them. “I mean, I could, but why would he know? He wasn’t there. I’d have to tell him what happened, and he would only know what I know, and it would probably make him sad. And I’d have to tell him… tell him we were in —that I’m in—”

“Love?” Alya prompted. “Shouldn’t you tell him that anyway?”

“I don’t know,” Ladybug bit her lip and blinked forcefully enough for the back of her eyelids to turn white. “He moved on. Or I thought he did. Maybe he didn’t… maybe… but he couldn’t, not anymore. If he still… I’m sure I crushed any chances there when I took Plagg. And if I didn’t… how can I tell him I love him when I can’t even tell him my name?”

Alya made a noise to interject, but now that the words were coming out, Ladybug couldn’t stop. 

“He should  _ know _ . It’s not fair that I know and he doesn’t. I can’t keep talking to him and acting like we don’t know each other on the other side of the mask. I want him to know, but I can’t ask him if he should know, because he wants to know, or maybe he doesn’t anymore, but either way I can’t bring it up and then decide not to go through with it, can I?”

“Well—”

“And I can’t undo it, like with the ring. I mean, I couldn’t undo that either, but I could give it back, but if I tell him who I am, I can’t take that back. Once he knows, he knows. Oh! Unless! The snake miraculous—”

“Ladybug!” Alya snapped. “You’re rambling.”

“Oh.” That was probably true. As hard as it was to start talking about it, Ladybug was finding it even harder to finish. It felt so freeing to finally, finally, talk about what happened. Ladybug found that the words just bubbled out of her all at once like shaken soda being released from the can. Still, she came here for advice, which she wasn’t going to get unless she let Alya actually talk.

“Right. Sorry,” Ladybug apologized. “I just don’t know what to do.”

Alya sighed. “I’m not sure what to tell you, honestly. On the one hand, that whole Chat Blanc thing sounds like serious business. On the other, it sounds like you really want to tell him.”

Ladybug did want to tell him.

Alya continued. “Honestly, if it weren’t for the potential akumatization thing, I’d be telling you to go for it,” she paused for a moment to tuck her hair behind her ear. “But I totally get why you’re hesitating, that’s some heavy stuff.”

“So, you don’t think I should tell him?” Ladybug hated how thin and reedy her voice sounded as she asked, but now that she was suddenly faced with the potential that Alya would disapprove, Ladybug was afraid of hearing the answer.

“I still think you should talk to him,” Alya said. “Keep trying to figure it out. I mean, if this bunny person messed with the timeline to prevent it, that means it’s not inevitable, right? You managed to prevent it from happening.”

“So you think I should do it and see if Bunnyx shows up again?” Ladybug turned her head to face Alya as she asked for clarification.

“No, no,” Alya shook her head. “I mean, that might happen, but I was thinking, if Bunnyx stepped in, that means it was that specific chain of events that lead to it, and you just had to change the act that sparked it. So, now you’re on a new chain of events, because you found him out already, and maybe even just having it happen in a different order means it’ll turn out differently.”

Ladybug wanted Alya’s theory to be true, but… “There’s no guarantee of that. It could still happen.” 

“Yeah, it could. So you have to decide whether it’s worth the risk. And what you’re risking if you don’t tell him, too.”

“Do you think…” Ladybug trailed. She wasn’t sure what risks Alya was implying. She wanted to tell him, and he deserved to know, but she hadn’t considered not telling him to be a risk. “Do you think I’m hurting our partnership?”

“I think Chat Noir is the only person that can answer that,” Alya said, her voice carefully neutral. “I don’t know about your partnership. But I do know that Chat Noir isn’t the only person that can be akumatized.”

At first, Ladybug didn’t register what Alya meant by that comment. When the words finally hit her they felt like a punch in the stomach: Alya was worried about  _ Ladybug _ being akumatized.

“Telling him is a risk,” Alya said. “But so is not telling him.”

Ladybug wasn’t sure what to say to that.

They sat there in silence.


	11. in sync

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ladybug and Chat Noir fight an akuma together.

Marinette couldn’t stop turning the conversation with Alya over in her mind. It’d been four days since the night on the roof of the Montparnasse Tower and she wasn’t any closer to making a decision about what to say to Chat Noir. Meanwhile, every conversation with Adrien felt more strained as the need to confess grew stronger. 

Talking to him without telling him was infinitely harder than she’d imagined when she’d given him the ring back. That wasn’t to say she regretted her choice — she absolutely didn’t — but she hadn’t been fully prepared for this new reality where she knew and he didn’t.

She hadn’t seen Chat Noir since the night she gave him his Miraculous back, and she was nervous about that, too. 

On the bright side, her conversation with Kagami had gone smoothly and assuaged some of Marinette’s fears. They’d met up for juice one afternoon and Marinette had tentatively broached the topic of Adrien. Kagami had assured Marinette that she wasn’t devastated about the breakup.

“I knew before we started dating that there was someone else,” Kagami had admitted, “but I was so convinced we were right for each other that I was willing to look past that. I hoped that if he just gave it a chance he would realize I was right, but I was not. And I have made peace with that.”

Marinette had felt her heart skip a beat remembering that the person Kagami was referring to was undoubtedly Marinette herself, even if neither Kagami nor Adrien were aware of that particular fact. Ladybug had shoved that fact away at the time, intent on being present for Kagami, but now she couldn’t help but wonder where his feelings stood after the last week.

He’d been clear that he wasn’t interested in repairing his relationship with Kagami, and from what she had told Marinette, Kagami was on the same page. So Marinette could cross the fear of Kagami’s akumatization out of her mind, and she didn’t have to go through with her plan to get them back together.

She felt guilty for how relieved she was at that.

Marinette knew that Kagami and Adrien being over didn’t mean she wouldn’t ever have to watch Adrien fall in love with someone else and be happy with them. But that would take time, far more time than him getting back together with Kagami would have. Marinette hoped that time would help dull the shine of her own feelings enough that she could be happy for him. That she’d be ready to watch him with another girl without feeling like her heart was being crushed completely.

But more than that, more than anything else, Marinette still hoped she’d never have to see him with another girl at all. She still hoped that she was the girl he’d be happy with.

* * *

Lazy Soldier made a terribly inconvenient akuma. His power was to zap people to other places, which was mostly harmless but made battle strategy a huge headache. She’d managed to avoid getting hit so far, but every time she tried to move she’d found her path suddenly blocked by the sudden appearance of a hapless citizen. The transported civilians weren’t aggressive, so it was easy to move past them, but it did slow her down quite a bit and allowed the akuma to slip through her grasp more than once.

Luckily, Chat Noir had her back. Every time she’d found her path blocked, he’d be there, extending his baton into the crowd for her to grab onto, or continuing forward when she needed him to. She marveled at his ability to anticipate her every move, and to instinctively know when she needed a rescue and when she wanted him to leave her behind and let her catch up on her own. 

She just hoped he wouldn’t take a hit for her. He wouldn’t be hurt, of course, but she had no idea how far the akuma’s range was, and there was no guarantee that he’d be able to make it back in a timely manner.

Ladybug desperately hoped she wouldn’t have to fight any part of this battle without him. She didn’t think she could bear being separated from him in their first fight together again.

The feeling of fighting side by side with her partner, fully in sync, was something she’d never truly appreciated until she’d had to fight with someone else.

“Need a hand, LB?” Chat’s voice interrupted her thoughts.

She grabbed his outstretched hand and let him pull her up out of the crowd onto a small ledge. He didn’t touch anything but her hand, but she could feel her heart beating harder against her ribcage anyways. They were standing centimeters apart, and even though she knew it was out of necessity, she couldn’t help but wonder if it was affecting him that same way it was affecting her.

She didn’t have much time to ponder, however, before Chat spoke again. “Have you _spotted_ the akumatized object yet, Bug?”

 _I guess that’s my answer, then,_ she thought, trying not to feel disappointed. Ladybug should be happy that he was focused on the battle, but part of her mourned the sly grin he used to give her when they ended up pressed against each other in battle. She’d hated it at the time, but now she was desperate for any confirmation that some of those feelings remained.

Realizing that he was probably waiting for an answer, she pushed her feelings aside. 

“There’s a plastic fork stuck behind his ear,” Ladybug told him. “That has to be it, it doesn’t fit the rest of his costume at all.”

“Brilliant as always, LB,” he said with a wink.

She didn’t feel very brilliant. Brilliantly scarlet, maybe, based on how hot her cheeks suddenly felt. Nowhere near as brilliant as his smile.

* * *

Somehow, with a little bit of luck, a lot of teamwork, and a pair of skis, she managed to pluck the plastic fork from behind Lazy Soldier’s ear. Ladybug tossed the fork to her partner, who effortlessly caught it mid-air with his Cataclysm at the ready.

“No evil doing for you, little akuma!” Ladybug declared, opening up her yo-yo as the black butterfly fluttered out of the decayed fork. “Time to de-evilize!”

This time, instead of watching the little white butterfly flying away, all she could focus on was the way Chat Noir was looking at her. His eyes were gleaming and his gaze was fixed as if he couldn’t look away. She couldn’t quite decipher what the look meant, but she knew how it made her feel.

She felt strong. She felt _ready_.

Ladybug couldn’t help but smile wider than usual as she tossed the skis in the air and called her her Miraculous Ladybug. She kept smiling as pink light washed over the city, and when Chat Noir asked to pound it, her smile grew so wide her face felt like it was going to split open.

 _I want to tell him,_ she thought, as their hands touched. _I’m going to tell him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to [sagansjagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/works) for looking over this chapter.
> 
> Also, in case anyone was curious about the akuma: He was playing a very long, slow game of Dungeons and Dragons and was frustrated by how how the journey was taking and yelling at the DM while eating fast food (hence the plastic fork). Hawkmoth offered him the power the shorten any journey, and also saved the DM from being stabbed with a fork that day.


	12. close call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ladybug's plan to reveal her identity hits a snag.

Chat Noir wasn’t sure what he’d expected Ladybug to do after defeating Lazy Soldier and participating in their traditional fist bump, but grabbing him by the waist and swinging them both into a nearby alley  _ certainly _ wasn’t it. 

“S-sorry,” she said, letting go of him and backing away. “I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that, not without warning, I just—”

Her words were cut off by the sudden  _ beep beep _ of her earrings.

“Ladybug, you should go—” Chat started to say, only for her to interrupt.

“No, not yet, I-I wanted to talk to you. About something. Something important! I just, I need a second, I…” Ladybug trailed off.

Chat was overcome with a sudden feeling of dread. What could she possibly want to talk to him that was so important she’d stick around with only two minutes left? He was sure it couldn’t be anything good.

He’d thought the battle had gone well. Sure, there were a few hiccups, but he’d worked so hard to stay focused, to prove he was a good partner. He didn’t want to do anything to make her regret choosing him again. Chat had thought he’d succeeded, but maybe not. Maybe she was disappointed anyway.

His face must’ve given him away, because Ladybug rushed to reassure him. 

“Not something bad!” She said, her voice a little too loud as she waved her arms around. “Good, I think. I hope. Just important!”

His own Miraculous gave its own  _ beep beep _ , reminding him that his own transformation would end soon as well. Chat had to stop himself from fleeing out of habit. He didn’t have an identity to hide anymore.

“I’d be happy to meet you for patrol later to talk, Little Bug,” he offered. He wasn’t sure if it was out of concern for their mutually impending detransformations or because he wanted to stall the conversation as long as possible.

Her earrings echoed out a solitary  _ beep _ .

“No!” Ladybug blurted, his eyes impossibly wide. “I mean, yes, thank you, but I don’t need—we can—I want to do it now. Right now. Before I lose my nerve, I need to tell you, please.”

A sick feeling pooled in his gut. If she was nervous to tell him, it couldn’t be anything he wanted to hear.

“Bug, your transformation is about to run out, I’m sure whatever it is can wait.” He hoped, anyway. “I’m happy to listen, anytime,” Chat continued, lying through his teeth.

“Sure! But—” Ladybug was interrupted again by the rapid beeping that signaled that she was out of time.

Panicking, Chat Noir did the first thing he could think of to protect her identity. He promptly lifted his partner up and threw her in a Dumpster.

She let out a dismayed cry, and he immediately regretted his action.  _ If she wasn’t happy with you before, she definitely isn’t now. _

“I’m so sorry Ladybug!” Chat Noir rushed to apologize. “I should’ve just closed my eyes. I heard your earrings beeped and panicked—that was a close call!”

He heard a muffled groan from the Dumpster. Ladybug sounded extremely annoyed. Chat Noir closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands. 

“Ladybug?” he asked nervously. She didn’t respond.

“You can come out now, I’m not looking,” he told her.

Chat could hear rustling noises that he assumed was Ladybug climbing out of the waste receptacle. He wanted to rush over to help her out, but if he did, he risked accidentally seeing something he wasn’t meant to. It was better to stay still until she transformed again.

He found himself holding his breath as her footsteps drew near. Chat wasn’t sure if it was due to nerves or to the stench that clung to Ladybug after he unintentionally dipped her in a vat of garbage. Probably both, if he was honest.

“Chat,” Ladybug’s voice was so, so soft. His brain couldn’t help but fill in the last time he’d heard her voice sound that way:  _ “You know what this means.” _

His shoulders tensed as he felt her hands gently wrap around his forearms. His heart gave a lurch as his ring let out a single beep. And then…

She pulled his arms down.  _ What is she doing? _

“Chat,” she said again. “That wasn’t a close call. I wanted you to know.”

_ Wait, what? _

“I want you to know who I am.”

_ No. No, this is all wrong. _

“Kitty, open your eyes. I’m ready.”

_ I’m not. _

He squeezed his eyes shut tighter and stepped back, back, back until he bumped against the brick wall behind him.

“Chat Noir?” Her voice was tinged with worry.

“N-no! I don’t—this isn’t right, Ladybug,” he managed to stammer out. “You’re not supposed to do this. This isn’t how it goes.”

“But—”

“You can’t do this!” He shouted, his face suddenly hot with anger. “I can’t believe you! You were just going to let your timer run out? Just spring your identity on me like that, after everything? Like it’s nothing?”

“I d-don’t understand. I thought… I-I thought you wanted to know…” He could hear her sniffling. His own cheeks felt wet. He didn’t understand either.

“I do!” He did want to know. He’d always wanted to know, and that hadn’t changed. So why was he suddenly so angry at her for offering him the forbidden knowledge he’d always longed for?

“T-then why are you so upset?” Her voice sounded so small. He felt a twinge in his chest.

“I don’t know!” He yelled, spinning to face the brick wall and pressing his hands flat against it. The sudden, rapid beeping of his Miraculous echoed in his ears as his transformation fell away, leaving Adrien leaning into the brick wall with his hands on the rough surface and tears streaming down his cheeks.

He barely registered Plagg materializing next to him until he heard Plagg speak to Ladybug.

“Really, Pigtails?” Plagg’s voice dripped with disdain. “You better have a good explanation for this. Where’s my Sugarcube?”

Ladybug didn’t say anything in response, but she must’ve pointed his Kwami in the right direction, since he zipped off immediately afterwards.

“Chat Noir,” her voice was firmer now as he reached for his shoulder. He was hyper aware of the heat of her bare hand radiating through the cotton of his shirt and the faintly unpleasant smell still wafting off her. “I’m sorry.”

“You just…” He sniffed, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. “You didn’t even talk to me. You just decided to do it, and then you did.”

“I know, I should’ve talked to you. I shouldn’t have rushed into it, but…”

“You changed your mind!” His voice cracked. “You changed your mind again!”

“Again…?”

“You took the ring, and I understood, because those were the rules. And then you changed your mind! You gave it back!”

“You’re mad that I gave your ring back?” Her voice sounded shaky again. “Isn’t that… Do you… not want to be Chat Noir anymore?”

“Of course I do!” How could she even ask that? Being Chat Noir was everything to him.

“Then… why are you mad? I don’t understand. Isn’t it a good thing?”

“It is! It’s great!” he yelled as a fresh wave of tears surfaced at the corner of his eyes. “And I’m happy!”

“You don’t… seem very happy…” Ladybug’s voice trailed off softly.

“I just… can’t keep up,” he admitted, his earlier anger starting to fade as a sense of helplessness washed over him. His shoulders sagged and he let the tears roll down his face. “You keep… changing your mind. Changing the rules. And I know that’s your prerogative as Guardian.”

He took in a deep, shaky breath. “But how can I follow the rules if I don’t know what they are? How do I not lose the ring again?”

“Chat,” her voice was warm and sweet. “I’m not going to take your ring again. Ever. I  _ promise _ . Do you trust me?”

Of course he trusted her. He trusted her with his whole heart. Didn’t he? They trusted each other with each other’s lives. 

They were partners. 

But they hadn’t been, six days ago. And now that the possibility that they wouldn’t always be partners was real, he couldn’t let it go.

“I trust you to do the right thing. To be a good Ladybug, and a good Guardian. To save Paris,” he managed. That much was true for certain. He had no doubts in her as a hero; he never would. He just wasn’t sure where he fit anymore. Ladybug was silent, but the  stench of sweet decomposition, of spaghetti sauce mixed with burnt rubber, reassured him that she was still there behind him, listening.

“I’m proud of you, being the Guardian. But…” Chat hesitated. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to say this, but if he didn’t now, he wasn’t sure he ever would. “There’s nothing stopping you from changing the rules whenever you want. And that scares me.”

“Oh, Kitty…” She said, letting out a soft breath. Suddenly, he was enveloped in warmth as her arms wrapped around him. She still stank, but he didn’t care. His sense of smell was dull from crying. He leaned back into her softness, relishing the feel of her embrace.

“I’m so, so sorry. I messed up, but I’m going to fix it,” she told him with a renewed burst of determination in her voice. As he heard the familiar confidence in her voice and felt the soft warmth of her civilian clothing pressed against him, he couldn’t help but to trust her. She was Ladybug, and she could fix anything.

“I promise, okay? I’m going to fix this. And then I want to show you who I am, if you still want that.”

His throat felt constricted and his eyes were still wet, but he managed a firm nod.

If she said she’d fix it, he trusted her. Even if he had no idea how she would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to [sagansjagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/works) for looking over this chapter.
> 
> Fun fact: did you know that Dumpster is a brand name?


	13. reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ladybug reveals her plan to fix things.

That evening, when Adrien stepped out of the shower, he was immediately met with an annoyed Plagg claiming Ladybug had a message for him. 

“What kind of message?” Adrien was anxious to hear the answer.  _ What is she planning? _

“Don’t know, don’t care. But I assume you do.” Plagg’s tone of voice made it very clear what he thought about Adrien’s desperation to hear his Lady’s words.

Adrien nodded, ignoring the way Plagg rolled his eyes. If Plagg was really bothered, he wouldn’t have informed Adrien in the first place.

“Plagg, claws out!” Adrien shouted. 

“Kid, would you at least put some pants o —” Plagg shouted as he was sucked into the ring. Adrien ignored it; it was too late now.

He’d always enjoyed the thrill of transforming into Chat Noir, but since losing the ring, he’d savored it even more. Transforming, while thrilling, had begun to seem routine.

He wouldn’t take it for granted ever again.

Pulling out his baton, he quickly swiped at the screen until Ladybug’s message began to play.

“Hi, Chat! Are you okay? I hope you’re okay. I just wanted to call and tell you I figured it out! I think. You’re probably busy right now; you’re always super busy,” Ladybug’s strained laugh interrupted her frantic dialogue. “I’m sure you aren’t transformed right now so I don’t know when you’ll get this. But hopefully you will soon! Um. If you get this tonight, could we meet tomorrow? At night. At Mont — no wait, not there. The Eiffel Tower? At 9:00? And if you don’t, then maybe the next night. Or the night after — I’ll, I’ll be there. Until 10:00. Waiting. So, um, thanksforlisteningbye!”

_ She wants to meet _ , he thought hysterically. Not only did she want to meet, but she was willing to wait for an hour every night until he showed up.

Chat Noir had no idea whether that was a good sign or not. Sighing, he detransformed.

“Claws in.”

Naturally, Plagg demanded cheese upon his rematerialization.

“I expect some quality Camembert for that,” Plagg said loftily. And then, his gaze turning quizzical, he continued, “What did Pigtails have to say?”

“I thought you didn’t care,” Adrien responded, flopping onto his couch. “Why do you keep calling her that, anyway?”

“No reason!” Plagg responded sardonically. “Definitely not anything you should read into, at all.”

_ That’s an odd response _ , thought Adrien. Still, he had bigger things to worry about than Plagg’s refusal to expand upon his choice in nicknames.

Like meeting Ladybug tomorrow. And whether he’d get to keep meeting her after that.

* * *

When Chat Noir came into view of the Eiffel Tower at 8:47 p.m., he could already make out the tiny red figure pacing on the second landing. 

He bounded towards her with equal parts eagerness and dread.

When he landed, Ladybug’s face split into an enormous grin that made him feel antsy. “Chat! You’re early!”

“Sorry… is that a problem? I can come back later, if —”

“No! Not a problem! No problems! I just, um, need a second. I was still planning it out and I didn’t think you’d be here so soon and I… I just really need to say it right this time.”

“Take all the time you need,” he responded with a patience that he didn’t feel.

“Okay! … okay, I’ll just, um be over here, for a minute, okay?”

Chat nodded, and Ladybug resumed pacing a few meters away from him.

If he thought he’d been nervous before, that was nothing compared to the feeling of watching Ladybug whip back and forth on the platform, occasionally pausing to tug on her pigtails or cover her hands with her face. His heart was racing. What was she planning to tell him that made her so worried? If she was worried, he should be worried too, right?

Just as he was about to give up on his valiant attempt at patience, Ladybug paused in her tracks and whirled to face him. “Okay! I’m ready.”

Chat swallowed. His tongue felt thick and dry in his mouth.

Stepping towards him, Ladybug began to speak. “I have an idea, for how to fix things, but first, I wanted to apologize again.”

_ Apologize? _ He thought, stunned. He hadn’t expected that. She’d already apologized, hadn’t she?

“I shouldn’t have tried to reveal myself without talking to you first. I know that. I realized I was ready and decided to do it before I lost my nerve, and I wasn’t thinking. I thought I’d have more time to explain it to you before my timer ran out, that I’d —”

“It’s fine, Ladybug,” Chat interrupted. He wasn’t sure if it was fine, really, but she didn’t need to apologize. She’d already done that after he’d yelled at her. He didn’t want to yell at her anymore, even if he was still upset. He just wanted to know what was going to happen next.

“But—” she started again.

“Please, Ladybug. Just tell me what you’re planning,” he pleaded. “I’ve been worried about it all day.”

“Worried…?” Ladybug echoed, scrunching her brow. “You don’t need… I don’t want you to be worried. It’s supposed to be a good thing.”

She paused, biting her lip. “Though maybe I’m not so good at good things. Telling you who I am was supposed to be good, too.”

Chat ran his fingers through his hair and clutched them together at the top of his head. He didn’t want to talk about this. Not with the specter of whatever Ladybug’s idea was hanging over their heads.

Ladybug seemed to realize his distress. “Sorry, Chat, I’ll get to the point.”

She took a seat on the metal flooring and patted the spot next to her with her hand. “Come sit, please. I have something I want to show you.”

He scrambled over to her and took a seat with his legs crossed. His tail twisted around him wildly and he grabbed it between his hands, stroking it to soothe it’s anxious twitching. He hoped she wouldn’t notice.

“Here,” she said, unfurling a piece of paper he hadn’t noticed her holding before now. 

“I wrote down some rules... for us,” Ladybug continued as she thrust the crumpled paper into his hand.

“Rules?” He stared down at the paper. His brain suddenly felt cloudy. Inanely, he noted how oddly familiar her handwriting looked, and wondered where he’d seen it before.

“Well, yes,” she responded, her voice higher than usual. He was still looking at the paper, but he couldn’t process the words. “You were worried, right, about accidentally breaking them? And I know I’m never going to take the ring again, but you wanted something more concrete, so I thought we could write things down.”

_ Ugh, rules _ . That was her idea. Of course it was. It was… it was exactly what he’d asked for, wasn’t it? He should’ve known that complaining about not knowing the rules would just lead to codifying the rules. Which was fine. Just fine.

She said she’d fix it, and she did. He didn’t have any right to complain about that.

“So…” Ladybug’s voice trailed off.

“You wrote down the rules.”

“I… yes. I tried to,” Ladybug sounded unsure now. “What do you think?”

“That was nice of you,” he said mildly. “Thanks.”

“But… what do you think of the rules? Are they okay?”

“I’m sure they’re fine, Ladybug,” he said, carefully folding the paper back up and moving to slip it into his pocket. He’d have to find a safe place for the paper later. Maybe he could take a picture with his phone? Hopefully that would be secure enough.

“But… don’t you want to read them?” Ladybug’s voice wavered as she asked.

“I will, later. I’m sure your rules are very good,” he answered, stuffing the paper in and looking back down into his lap. His tail was laying flat and lifeless across his thighs. Chat wasn’t sure why she was so worried about this. Did she think he wouldn’t accept the rules? That he’d question them? He never had before.

And he wouldn’t now. Ladybug was the Guardian. She was good, and noble, and righteous and honest, and he trusted her to make the right choice and do the right thing. Even if he didn’t like the right thing. Even if it hurt him.

_ Maybe hurting you is the right thing, _ a nasty voice inside him whispered.  _ Why else would she keep doing it? _

“But…” Ladybug’s voice sounded thick with something he couldn’t identify. “They’re not… or at least, they’re not supposed to be my rules.”

He whipped his head up to look at her. Her eyes shone in the moonlight.

“They’re supposed to be ours,” she finished.

_ Ours?  _ His heart was suddenly beating too fast in his chest.  _ What does she mean, ours? _

“So…” Ladybug looked down into her lap, where her fingers twisted together. “I really want to hear what you think about my suggestions.”

“You want to hear… what I think?” Hope started to bloom in his chest, but it was still a small and fragile seedling, easily crushed and likely to wither without tender care. “But… you’re the Guardian. Aren’t you supposed to make all the rules? Like Fu did?”

“I… don’t know,” Ladybug admitted. “Fu made all the rules himself, but… he didn’t have a partner. I have you. And I want us to be a team. So even though it’s ultimately up to me… your opinion is important. It’s just a rough draft. If you don’t think the rules are good, we can change them. Together. Or we could add more, if you want.”

His heart continued its wild dance against his ribcage. “I’m allowed to make suggestions?” he asked, scarcely able to believe it.

“Of course, Kitty,” she said gently, looking back at him. “They affect both of us, and we both should have a say. They aren’t just rules for you. They’re for me, too. I want you to hold me accountable. I trust you.”

“Oh,” he said, completely taken aback by the sincerity in her voice. She’d said she trusted him before, he was sure of it, but he’d never felt it as strongly as he did now.

The hope bloomed brighter in his chest.

“So…” She trailed off, biting her lip and tapping her index fingers together in front of her chest. Belatedly, Chat realized she was waiting for him to say something more substantial. She was waiting for his opinion.

His hands only shook a bit as he pulled the paper back out and unfolded it again, careful not to puncture the paper with his claws as he smoothed it out over his knee. He began reading.

Wow, she’d… really thought this through. Chat couldn’t believe Ladybug had written all this out in one night. And her handwriting was perfect — she hadn’t made any mistakes or crossed anything out.

If Ladybug had that sort of certainty about the rules, could he really suggest any changes? She said she did, but she’d also said this was a rough draft, and the neat, precise lettering did not indicate it was a draft at all.

The hope growing in his chest was still such a fragile thing; even as it grew it failed to take root. He kept reading.

He frowned.  _ Why would she write that? _ He’d never do anything of those things.  _ Did she really think I ever would? _

He didn’t realize he’d spoken out loud until she answered him.

“Of course you wouldn’t,” she responded primly. “That’s  _ the point _ . I told you, I’m not going to take your ring again. But you were still worried.”

Ladybug reached out and placed her hand on top of his, bringing his attention to the way he’d unintentionally crumpled the paper in his fist. She smoothed her thumb over his fingers, pausing to linger on the ring.

“You wanted to know what would make me take your ring again,” she continued, her tone more sincere now. She flipped his hand over with her own and laced their fingers together. “So here is your answer: nothing that you would ever do.”

Oh.  _ Oh. _ He felt so, so warm, and the tender look in her eyes overwhelmed him completely. He found himself leaning in, in, in, drawn forward helplessly by her sincerity and desperately drinking in her words.

Finally,  _ finally, _ the seedling in his heart erupted, watered by the conviction in her words and basking in the warmth of the stars in her eyes. He felt it take root, curling deep into his chest and wrapping around him securely. He brought his other hand to wrap it around hers.

“Thank you, Ladybug,” he said, hoping she could read into his eyes the words he couldn’t find.

She smiled at him, her eyes crinkling at the edges of her mask. “You don’t need to thank me. It’s the truth.”

He realized, at that moment, that he’d been assuming he had still been on probation as Chat Noir, and the feeling of needing to prove she’d made the right choice had nagged at him right up until this moment.

“Thank you for telling me,” he responded. “You have no idea how much I needed to hear that.”

“I think I’m starting to understand,” she said, scooting closer to him and bringing her second hand to join where their fingers were wrapped up in each other. “I’ll tell you again anytime you want.”

She started to lean her head towards his shoulder, then paused and looked up at him through her lashes. “Is this okay?”

_ More than okay _ , he thought, but didn’t dare speak. He nodded, and she curled into him, the top of her hair brushing against his cheek.

“After your reaction the other day,” she started, “I realized it wasn’t just my timer running out. I should’ve talked it over with you and let you know what I was thinking. You offered to meet me on patrol and I should’ve accepted that.”

Chat wasn’t sure where she was going with this, so he remained silent.

“And I know it’s not a good excuse, but… I want you to know, this is something I’m really bad at. At.... confessing things. So telling you was hard for me, and I messed it up, and I’m truly sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I was thinking about myself and I should’ve been thinking more about you.”

Chat nuzzled his face into her hair and squeezed her hands, relishing in her nearness and delighting in how open she was at this moment. He knew Ladybug wasn’t always as collected as she pretended to be, but she so rarely opened up to him.

_ I want to know everything about you _ , he thought.

“I didn’t realize how much you were still hurting,” she shared. “I’d, um, seen you, since the day I asked you to be Chat Noir again —I won’t say how—and you looked happy. Well, maybe not happy, exactly, but… back to normal. Not the way you were without Plagg. And then you seemed so focused and calm, during the battle with Lazy Soldier. I just assumed you were okay, and I shouldn’t have. Giving the ring back doesn’t undo what I did in the first place.”

“I… I thought I was back to normal, too,” Chat admitted. “I was still… worried, but… I was so happy you gave me the ring back. Indescribably happy. And I wanted to be happy. I didn’t want to feel bad anymore.”

“Until I messed up,” Ladybug said, her voice laced with regret.

“You didn’t—”

“I  _ did _ .”

Chat considered this. “Okay, maybe you did. But if you hadn’t, I’d still be upset. I just wouldn’t have known.”

“Are you still upset, Chat Noir?”

“I… don’t think so,” he paused, trying to gather up his words before presenting them to his lady. “I was just… scared, before, and I didn’t realize it until you were about to detransform. I’m sorry for reacting so poorly—”

“No!” Ladybug interrupted him, lifting her head up and shifting to look directly at him. “You’re allowed to be upset, Chat Noir! And if you are, I want to know!”

He felt his lips curl up into a grin at her fierceness.  _ She wants to know, _ he thought, slightly dazed at the idea.  _ She wants to hear if I’m upset. _

“And I want to know what you think!” she added, then continued in a softer voice, “You need to tell me if you want to change the rules.”

He looked down at his lap, where the paper had landed when she’d taken his hand. Reluctantly, he drew his hand back out of hers and picked up the list.

“I… I think they’re great, actually.” And it was true. Chat couldn’t think of a single thing he’d change.

“Are you sure?” Ladybug asked. “There’s nothing you want to suggest? Isn’t there anything you want to add?”

He racked his brain, trying to think of anything she hadn’t covered, but she’d been thorough enough that he couldn’t think of anything she missed.

“Something you want from me?” she pleaded.

_ Nothing I can ask for, _ he thought.

Except… there was something, maybe, that would be okay to ask about. He wasn’t sure if she’d agree to it, but she might not be upset about him asking.

_ Here goes nothing. _

“I… want to know who the temporary heroes are,” he said tentatively.

“Okay,” Ladybug nodded.

“Okay?”

“Of course, as long as they agree to it,” she tapped the paper in his hands.

“Right,” he nodded. “And I… I want to help choose them, in the future. Like you did for Master Fu.”

“Do… do you want to do exactly what I did for Master Fu?” Ladybug pursed her lips in thought. “Because it’s okay if you do, but… you would have to know where I live. So maybe you could just tell me who you’d want to choose instead?”

The idea that she didn’t want to share where she lived stung a bit, but the hope in his chest had blossomed strongly enough that this minor setback didn’t wipe it out.  _ She still wants you to know who she is _ , he reminded himself,  _ you don’t need her to invite you over for brunch, too. _

He idly wondered what brunch with Ladybug would be like, and whether it’d be as lovely as he’d imagined. Speaking of brunch…

“I think we should give Marinette another chance.”

“W-what?” Ladybug said, her face going pale. “Why her?”

“She was really great that day, as Multimouse.” He wasn’t sure why he had to explain this. Didn’t Ladybug understand how amazing Marinette was? “And the only reason you said she couldn’t be Multimouse again was because I knew, but now it’s okay for me to know, so I think we should bring her back. I can’t think of anyone better to have fighting at our side.”

“O-oh,” Ladybug said, faint dots of pink appearing on her pale cheeks. “I didn’t think… I didn’t realize you thought so highly of her.”

Chat felt a sharp flicker of annoyance. “Of course I do. Don’t you?”

“Sure!” Ladybug agreed quickly. “Marinette’s great. Super cool. Great choice. I just… Chat, I really want to tell you who I am. I understand if you’re still not ready, but… it’s really hard, keeping it from you.”

Chat blinked. “You think I don’t want you to tell me?”

“I… I don’t know?” Ladybug looked hesitant now. “I mean, I thought you did, but then you didn’t, and I just… didn’t want to assume. Or pressure you. If you don’t want to know, that’s okay. I just… really want you to know.”

Chat took the slip of paper in his hand and shoved it into his suit pocket before reaching forward to take her hands in his again. Her hands were so small in his.

“I want to know, Ladybug,” he confessed. “I want to know everything about you. I’m ready now.”

Her smile stretched from ear to ear. “Really?”

“Really.”

“Okay!” She let out a breathy laugh. “Are you ready?”

“Whenever you are, milady.”

“Tikki, spots off!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to [sagansjagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/works) for looking over this chapter.
> 
> Also this didn't fit in the chapter for obvious reasons BUT:
> 
> lb: what about dating in the workplace  
> cn: what  
> lb: i think it should be allowed, don’t you?  
> cn: um. we are the only people in the workplace.  
> lb: i know. i’m just saying. let’s not rule it out.


	14. realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chat Noir realizes who's behind the mask.

“Oh, my God,” Chat said, stunned, as Ladybug’s transformation fell away. In his daze, he barely noticed as Tikki flew away to the far corner of the platform. “Marinette. You’re  _ Marinette Dupain-Cheng _ . Of course you’re—wait, is  _ that _ why you were avoiding me at school?”

Ladybug—no,  _ Marinette _ —pulled her hands out of his to wrap her arms around her waist. Chat wondered how she’d react if he reached back out for them.

“Yes,” she admitted, looking down at the ground. “I’m so sorry, you were just so sad and I felt so guilty—”

“It’s okay, mi-Marinette,” he quickly corrected himself.  _ You’re not supposed to call her that _ , he reminded himself.  _ Just because she wants you to be her Chat Noir doesn’t mean she wants to be your lady. _

But how could he possibly move on now, when Ladybug was  _ Marinette? _

“No, it’s not okay,” Marinette said, interrupting his thoughts. “I wish you’d stop doing that, Kitty. I already told you: you’re allowed to be upset. I hurt you, and it was wrong. I knew what you were going through—I was the only one who did—and I avoided you anyways when you needed me as a friend because I felt awkward. That’s not okay.”

Marinette’s words made sense, but Chat couldn’t summon up the anger that she seemed to think he should feel. Maybe it’d be easier to be upset with her if she wasn’t so incredibly wonderful.

He wanted to say something to that effect—to explain himself—but Marinette wasn’t finished talking.

“To be honest… I didn’t realize it would matter at the time,” she said, her face still turned to the concrete, but her gaze flicking back up at him, “I know we’re friends, but… I didn’t really think you’d notice, let alone be bothered by it.”

“I always notice you, Marinette,” he told her, and heard her take in a gasp of air before she raised her head to face him. 

Was she…  _ blushing? _

No, there’s no way. It was just the ambient rays of the sun setting that made everything look warm and rosy. He was probably just imagining things, confusing his hopes with his reality.

_ She’s in love with someone else,  _ he reminded himself firmly.  _ Don’t read into things. Just be grateful she wants you as her partner and her friend. _

“Thanks, Adrien,” she said, and the way his name sounded coming from her lips made him feel warm all over. “I-I always you noti—notice you! Too!”

He adored her completely.

“I’m just glad you weren’t mad at me,” he confessed. “Well, I guess you were, but not for something I did to you as Marinette that I didn’t know about. I was really worried I’d offended you or something—”

“No!” Marinette’s voice rang out in the air. “I was  _ never  _ mad.”

“You weren’t mad at me for giving my identity away?”

“No, never.” She leaned into him, reaching up to cup his cheeks with both hands. Her thumbs brushed against his lips as she settled, leaving them tingling. Her blue eyes shone with determination. “I was  _ never _ mad at you. I was upset, because I didn’t have my partner and  _ I missed you _ , but I wasn’t angry. I never wanted to take the ring. I hope you know that. I never wanted anyone but you to be my partner.”

He was probably the one blushing now, based on how hot his neck felt, but he didn’t mind. Not when he was enveloped by her sweet, earthy scent and caught in the azure of her stare. He felt a little breathless and dizzy taking in the intensity of  _ her _ .

Marinette’s face was so, so close. He could almost make out the faint sprinkling of freckles on her nose in the light of the dying sun. Chat inhaled deeply, catching her breath on an exhale and savoring the sweetness of her breath. She smelled like the sweet, tart, stinging taste of a fresh strawberry when you first bite into it.

He wanted to lean in closer, to see if he could count the freckles on her face. He wanted to reach up and see if her face was as soft as her hands—maybe even softer—but he knew he wouldn’t be able to feel it under his gloves. He’d need to feel her with his lips, to run them over the smooth curve of her cheek, across her cheeks and to her lips. Her lips looked so inviting and he wanted to lean in and capture them with his own, to see if she’d taste like strawberries, too.

But he couldn’t do that, either.

He pulled his face out of her hands and looked away, out towards the city.

“So..” Chat started, aimlessly rooting around in his brain trying to think of something to deflect her attention away from the fact that he’d almost kissed her. “I guess that’s a no on the Multimouse thing, huh?”

Marinette let out a shaky laugh. “N-no. I mean yes! I mean—” She let out an odd noise that fell somewhere between a groan and a wheeze. “You’re right, Multimouse isn’t really… an option. But it’s nice. That I was your first choice for a hero.”

_ But I wasn’t yours, _ he thought with the tiniest twinge of bitterness, recalling Rena Rouge. Which, now that he was thinking about it—

“Wait, was Rena Rouge Alya?”

“Ah… yes,” Marinette answered, and paused. “She… she was Mane Coon, too.”

“Mane Coon?”  _ Who?  _ He swiveled his head back to look at Marinette. Was there another hero that he didn’t know anything about? The thought hurt.

“Your, um...” Marinette hesitated. “...Your replacement.”

“Oh,” he said, oddly relieved. At least it wasn’t something she’d kept from him. After all, he had expected her to replace him. Even though the thought hurt, he understood why she’d chosen Alya; she’d been very capable as Rena Rouge. And some part of him was grateful that Ladybug had at least selected her best friend to replace him, instead of the boy she loved, like he’d feared.

Chat tried very hard not to think about being the one to suggest giving the snake to Luka. Or about the fact that Adrien had probably pushed Marinette and Luka closer when he’d asked Marinette to join him on his first date with Kagami.

“Alya is great,” Marinette added. “She made a great hero… but she wasn’t you.”

The way Marinette looked at him made his insides go liquid. He was fairly certain if she said anything else he’d melt completely.

So of course, she did.

“Maybe I could’ve given her more of a chance —it was just the one battle, and we probably could’ve worked together better with time,” Marinette admitted. “But… I didn’t want to. I  _ hated  _ every second of it. I kept looking for you and seeing her instead, and it was awful. I couldn’t stand the idea of facing an akuma without you.”

He was done. Finished. Send his regrets to his father; Adrien Agreste was no longer a human boy but instead a helpless puddle of goo on the second landing of the Eiffel Tower.

“Chat?” Marinette prompted, when he didn’t say anything.

“Oh, um, th-that’s great, mi-Marinette,” he managed to sputter out.  _ Great, real smooth, Agreste. _

“I’d still like to talk about the rules, if that’s okay,” Marinette said, twisting her hands together. “But first… could I show you something? Will you come with me?”

Chat nodded, unable to do anything else.

He’d follow her anywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to [sagansjagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/works) for looking over this chapter.


	15. post-reveal, pre-relationship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien is eggcited.

Marinette felt her face flush as she dug into her purse, looking for a macaron. After detransforming and revealing herself to Chat Noir, she’d asked him to come with her, to show him something, and he’d agreed. She’d been prepared to transform and leave immediately, but was quickly stumped by the emptiness of her purse. Chat couldn’t exactly follow her if she couldn’t go anywhere — and she couldn’t without transforming. Which she couldn’t do without feeding Tikki. And Marinette couldn’t feed Tikki without cookies.

Marinette frowned at the empty purse.

There was nothing for it then.

Swallowing her trepidation, Marinette looked back up at Chat Noir.

“Um… actually… do you think you could, um, give me a lift?”

“Your chariot awaits,” Chat Noir said, grinning, and fell into a deep bow, sweeping his arm out in front of him.

Marinette felt a little giggle escape her lips as the tension melted out of her shoulders. She’d been silly to worry; of course he’d take her home. Regardless of what happened or didn’t happen between them, he’d never leave her stranded on the second landing of the Eiffel Tower.

“Take me home, Kitty,” Marinette said, stepping forward and preparing to summon Tikki back to her side.

“W-what?” Chat stuttered, straightening up suddenly, his eyes impossibly round. “You want to take me—er, show me—your home?”

“You’ve seen my home already,” she reminded him gently. She wasn’t really sure why that of all things would be a shock to him — he’d been there more than once, both as Chat Noir and as a civilian.

“Y-yeah, but…” Chat trailed off, looking sheepishly off to the side as he twisted his fingers together in front of him. “You’ve never _invited_ me.”

Marinette’s initial instinct was to argue — of course she’d invited him. Hadn’t she? He’d been there so many times, surely she must have invited him at least one of those times. She’d invited him to practice for the gaming competition, hadn’t she?

But when she voiced that thought out loud, Chat shook his head.

“No, I… invited myself that time,” he admitted, and then his eyes widened again. “I invited myself over. To _Ladybug’s_ house. I played video games with Ladybug. In your _bedroom._ I’ve met Ladybug’s parents. Oh my God, I got Ladybug’s dad akumatized.”

Marinette laughed. “I’m still just Marinette, Chat.”

Chat scoffed. “You’re not _just_ anything,” he said, and the raw earnestness of his voice lit a flame of hope in Marinette’s heart. 

She didn’t have time to dwell on the sudden rush of warmth growing in her chest, however, because Chat quickly breezed past his earlier statement, twisting his body away from her and calling out to Tikki.

Tikki flew over, and, after confirming that there were not, in fact, any cookies, stowed herself away safely in Marinette’s purse.

Marinette looked back up at Chat Noir, who was determinedly staring at his left foot as he ground it against the floor. She cleared her throat, and he snapped to attention.

“Let’s go, Chat,” she said, her voice coming out stronger than she’d expected.

He nodded vigorously, readying his baton and opening his other arm towards her. Marinette stepped into the space he’d created for her and tentatively wrapped her arms around his neck, only lingering for a moment as her hand brushed across the cool leather on his chest.

He looked down at her for a moment. Chat’s verdant green eyes locked with hers, and she was spellbound, unable to look away. He stared unblinking for a moment, his eyes searching hers, before slowly closing them, releasing her from the irresistible pull of his gaze. When he opened his eyes again, Marinette wasn’t sure whether she was grateful that they were no longer locked on her own.

Marinette’s own eyes followed him, tracking his eyes, his cheeks, his jawline, as she felt his free arm pull her close. Marinette’s body melted against his and her eyes fluttered shut as they found a home against his neck. She could smell a hint of Adrien’s cologne underneath the earthy, rich smell of leather she associated with Chat Noir. She resisted the urge to nuzzle into the scent, but only just barely.

“Hold on tight, Bug,” he whispered, and leapt into the twilight.

She did.

* * *

Chat landed on her balcony with a thump heavy enough to jolt Marinette away from him. She teetered over, reaching out to the railing to steady herself, before being pulled back up to a stand by her partner. Chat’s large hands wrapped around her elbows, keeping her steady.

“You okay?” he asked, the top of his mask creased together with concern.

“Yes, fine!” She let out a strained laugh. “You know me, just madly clumsy! Typical Marinette.”

“You’re right,” Chat agreed, his voice impossibly tender. “I _do_ know you.”

She really needed him to stop looking at her like that. Like he’d been searching without a map and finally found his way, or found the answer to an impossible riddle. She needed him to stop looking at her like she was his missing puzzle piece, because as long as he did, she kept hoping they would fit together.

“Right,” she agreed, a few seconds later than she should have. “And I know you.”

Chat grinned widely at her, his teeth glinting white under the fairy lights on her balcony. “So, what did you want to show me?”

“Follow me,” she told him, and went to unlatch her skylight. Tikki flew in first, and then Marinette shimmied through it, landing on her bed with a soft thud. She quickly shuffled to the foot of the bed to make room for Chat Noir, who followed after her, landing somewhat less gracefully on her bedding.

He’d been in her room before, but looked no less out of place against the soft pinks of walls than he had the first time. 

“Do you, um,” she hesitated, not sure if she should say anything. Chat cocked her head curiously at her, and she barreled forward. “Do you want to detransform?”

He looked taken aback for only a moment before muttering, “Plagg, claws in.”

And suddenly Adrien Agreste was sitting on her bed, looking just as nervous and unsure as she’d ever looked in front of him.

Marinette wanted to say something to reassure him, but her thoughts were scattered by the appearance of a tiny, disgruntled cat floating in front of her face.

“Hello, Plagg,” she greeted him.

“Pigtails,” he acknowledged her. “I expect you have some cheese for me.”

“Plagg, be nice,” Tikki scolded.

“It’s fine, Tikki,” Marinette said. “Yes, I got some for… for Alya, that I never gave her because, well…” Plagg was glaring at her. 

“I’ll just go get that then,” she said, scrambling down her ladder and towards the hatch door that led to the rest of her house. 

As she lifted up the door, she heard Adrien’s voice carry from the bed. “Oh. _Oh._ That’s why you kept calling her Pigtails.”

Marinette hoped Plagg’s ensuing laughter didn’t wake up her parents.

* * *

When Marinette returned with some Camembert for Plagg and macarons for Tikki, she found Adrien sitting stiffly at the edge of her chaise, his hands clasped together in his lap. Tikki and Plagg were floating near her desk, in the middle of what looked like a spirited discussion. Maybe more of an argument than a discussion, based on the way Plagg’s arms were folded across his chest and Tikki’s frantic bouncing. Marinette wondered if it was about her.

“You’re back.” Adrien smiled but didn’t move. Tikki and Plagg, on the other hand, immediately halted their discussion at Adrien’s announcement, swooping over to Marinette. Tikki eagerly grabbed the macaron out of her hand and flew off out of sight, but Plagg lingered, eyeing her warily.

“Don’t think I’m so easily won over just because you have cheese,” Plagg said before reaching for the Camembert. 

“Plagg,” Adrien chided gently, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “We talked about this.”

“You mean you talked about it, and Tikki talked about it,” Plagg corrected. “And I agreed to be civil.”

Adrien let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine. Just go eat your smelly cheese.”

As Plagg flew off, clutching an extremely large wedge on Camembert in his tiny arms, Adrien turned back to look at her expectantly, his smile placid and his hands once again neatly folded in his lap.

Marinette looked back, feeling a bit lost until she remembered that she’d invited him here for a reason. She should… probably get to that.

Marinette tore her eyes away from him and started towards her trunk. She could feel his eyes following her curiously, but Adrien remained still. She was glad his position wouldn’t allow him to see the inside of her trunk as she opened it.

Still, she was mindful of the boy watching her as she rummaged through her trunk, looking for the Miracle Box. She’d gotten rid of some of her presents for Adrien, true, but not all of them, and it wouldn’t do to let him see them. Not now. Not after he’d pulled away so abruptly from their almost kiss.

For a minute, she had allowed herself to hope that he had wanted it as much as she did, but when he pulled back, the truth was clear. Even if he’d been tempted for a moment, even if he still felt the pull towards her that she inexorably felt towards him, he chose not to kiss her, and she knew what that meant.

Marinette knew she couldn’t read into the soft looks he gave her or the sweet things he said. That was just how Adrien was, after all — he’d looked at Marinette the same way plenty of times before finding out who she was, without ever seeing her as more than a friend. It didn’t mean anything.

Chat Noir had chosen to get over Ladybug. Maybe he hadn’t managed to move on while dating another girl, but he had now. She wasn’t sure if it was because she was Marinette, or because she’d confiscated his ring--no matter how temporarily--or simply that she’d taken too long to return his feelings on the right side of the masks.

Whatever the reason was, she had to accept his choice.

She hefted the Miracle Box out of her trunk with both hands and turned to face Adrien. His summer-green eyes widened as they took in the red egg and his lips formed a small, silent “Oh.” Marinette gently placed it on the chaise next to him, and then shuffled around him to take a seat on the other side of the chaise where she could curl up against the headboard.

“This… this is what you wanted to show me?” he asked in an indecipherable tone. 

Marinette nodded. “I wanted to show you… where it was. How to open it. In case you ever need to.”

“Really?” Adrien shifted towards her, leaning eagerly over the egg with wide-eyed wonder, his hands planted on the chaise on either side of the Miracle Box.

His enthusiasm didn’t abate as she slowly opened the compartments of the Miracle Box, carefully explaining how it worked and identifying each of the Miraculouses for him, trying to think about anything besides the way the delighted look on his face made her feel.

“Thank you, Marinette,” he said, the cadence of his voice smooth and low. “This really means a lot to me.”

She nodded, feeling heat creeping up into her cheeks.

“In fact…” Adrien’s voice trailed off as a smirk crept up on his face. “You could say I’m very _egg_ cited. _Egg_ static, even.”

Marinette groaned. “That was awful,” she told him, and his face crumpled.

“Sorry,” he apologized, leaning back and bringing his hands back into his lap. “I can stop.”

 _Oh, no._ Marinette’s heart lurched. She didn’t want him to stop — not really. Marinette assumed he would know that; she’d always groaned at his puns and he took it in stride. But this time… he looked so small and apprehensive. He looked the way he’d looked without Plagg.

And suddenly, she realized why his response was so different. He was finally comfortable enough to joke with her, and she’d shut him down.

 _Fix it, fix it, fix it!_ A shrill voice in her head chanted. Was it too late to laugh? It’d be weird now, wouldn’t it? He’d know it was fake. Maybe she should laugh anyway? Was fake laughter better than no laughter? 

No, it definitely wasn’t. She’d just have to talk to him. Which… she could do. She had just been doing it. No problem.

Steeling herself, Marinette leaned towards him, placing her hand on his shoulder. His eyes followed her hand and lingered where she’d made contact.

“Please don’t stop,” she pleaded. “I like it when you pun, even when they’re not funny. And that one wasn’t — you can do better.”

“Yeah?” he queried, the corner of his lip quirking back up as he reached his hand around the back of his neck.

Marinette nodded. “I like you when you’re you. I don’t want you to change.”

The hint of a smile on his face melted into a big, dopey grin. “I should just be _meow_ self, huh?”

She nodded back, unable to stop herself from smiling back at him, even as her thoughts whirled.

Did he really need her reassurance that much?

As she watched him lean back onto his arms and fold one leg over the other, she realized that he did, and was suddenly ashamed for not noticing sooner. She’d known that Chat liked attention, sure, and putting that together with Adrien’s cold empty house made a surprising amount of sense. But she hadn’t really thought about just how deep that need went — Chat wasn’t just showboating for attention that he wasn’t getting at home: he was looking for acceptance. For affection.

The gears churning in her head clicked into place as she finally realized why Chat had been acting so reserved since the night she gave the ring back — he’d been more lively as Adrien at school than he had been fighting Lazy Soldier. And now that he knew she was Marinette, he was hesitant around Marinette, too.

Was he still worried she’d reject him?

Well, she’d just have to fix that. Sure, she couldn’t fix Adrien’s relationship with his father or the last 15 years of his life — not alone, anyway, and that was something to tackle later — but she could show him that he didn’t have to worry when he was with her. She could show him just how much she cared. She had plenty of affection for him to give, after all. She just had to figure out how to give it.

“You should definitely be yourself,” she told him. “You’re wonderful just how you are.”

His cheeks flushed pink, and he flicked his eyes away briefly before looking back at her. 

“You know, I think you’re pretty _pun_ derful too, Marinette,” he said with a sly grin.

Marinette made sure to flash him a smile before she groaned and threw her pillow at him. The sound of his answering laughter as he caught the pillow reverberated in her heart, warming her from the inside out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to my wonderful beta [sagansjagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/works).


	16. pining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette stumbles upon the concept of mutual pining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay! I was working on another fic with a deadline, but my focus is back on completing this story now!
> 
> Thanks so much to my beta [sagansjagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/works).

Marinette was enraptured by the sound of Adrien’s laughter. She always had been, from the moment she’d first heard it after his umbrella closed around her and he unknowingly claimed her heart. Adrien didn’t genuinely laugh often — not as often as he  _ should _ , anyway, or even as often as she would expect from Chat Noir — but every time he did, Marinette’s brain went a little fuzzy.

Which was probably why she’d  _ completely forgotten about her parents _ until she heard a knocking sound come from below. She’d been so careful earlier to stay quiet when they’d first arrived in her bedroom and she’d gone to gather food for the Kwamis, but she’d been so caught up in Adrien that she’d forgotten that they would almost certainly notice the sound of a boy’s laughter in her room at a time when they expected her to be going to sleep.

Marinette’s heart caught in her throat as she felt the familiar sense of panicked urgency that rose up from her feet to her face every time she was caught in a potentially identity compromising position. The frantic “Hide!” that she usually hissed at Tikki when her parents knocked was ready to spill out of her lips when she noticed Adrien’s laughter came to an abrupt stop, his entire body locking into place as his fingers tightened around the edges of the pillow he’d caught earlier. 

She tamped down the instinct as hard as she could, taking in a deep breath and counting to five and back down again. Marinette had done enough damage, to both herself and her partner, by choosing to act out of fear, and she refused to let it control her anymore.

“Just a second, I’m not dressed!” Marinette yelled down to the source of the knocking. To her relief, her voice was only slightly strangled and higher pitched than usual. Marinette counted that as some sort of progress. She met Adrien’s eyes and mustered up what she hoped was a reassuring smile and a nod before turning her gaze to her skylight, knowing that his own eyes would follow hers, the way they had a thousand times before.

When it came to strategy, Ladybug and Chat Noir were always in sync.

When Marinette’s eyes returned to her partner a moment later, he’d already stood up from the chaise. He nodded back at her, and she felt a release of tension she hadn’t realized she was holding.

Marinette and Adrien could be in sync, too.

As she watched Adrien scramble up the ladder to her bed, Marinette couldn’t help but marvel at the way he moved. Even as he rushed, he effused the catlike grace that she’d previously attributed to his experiences modeling, but now she could clearly see her partner’s smooth dexterity in Adrien’s movements.

He managed to slip through the skylight just as the hatch in her floor opened, the click of the window closing echoing the thud the trap door made as her father’s head pushed through.

“Marinette? What are you still doing up, honey?” Tom asked, his bushy brows furrowed. “It’s late.”

“Sorry, Papa!” Marinette racked her brain for a believable reason for the sound of a boy’s laughter in her bedroom. “Alya just sent me this video, and I probably should’ve waited to watch, but it was so funny! I could pull it back up, if you want to watch…”

Tom’s brows relaxed as he gave her a soft smile. “Maybe in the morning, princess. It’s late, we both should rest.”

“Sure!” Marinette agreed eagerly, trying to draw the conversation to an end. Adrien was waiting for her on the balcony, hopefully.

“In the morning, then. Sweet dreams, Angel,” her Papa said, and sank back down into the floor.

As soon as the trap door shut, Marinette raced to the roof.

* * *

Of all the many fantasies she’d conjured in her head of Adrien Agreste over the last year  — getting ice cream at Andre’s together, him taking her to see a movie and kissing her in the dark, picking out a hamster together at the pet store, Adrien standing at the altar looking more handsome than ever in a tailored tuxedo  —  she’d somehow never imagined him, here, on her balcony, shining golden in the lamplight. 

But she’d never imagined he was Chat Noir, either (Marinette had tried very hard not to imagine anyone being Chat Noir).

Marinette had never imagined that this wasn’t the first time Adrien had visited her balcony. That Adrien had been the one who’d sought out the comfort of her company the night they’d fought Glaciator. 

(That Adrien had been the heartbroken boy who’d set up a rooftop full of candles for her and waited for hours in the hopes that she might show).

Adrien was facing away from her now, his hands resting the railing and his face lifted towards the sky. He was less bold without his suit, his feet planted firmly on the floor instead of dangling off the railing the way Chat Noir’s had when he visited.

She took her place next to him all the same, crossing her forearms atop the railing and leaning forward, intending to fix her gaze on the same bright stars, only for Adrien to drag his own eyes away from the sky and look back down at her.

Marinette took a deep breath, steeling herself, and turned to face him, only to catch the movement of his head as he turned away.

A familiar spike of worry swam through her head. Marinette felt her heart jump up into her throat, as if it could escape not only her body but also this balcony entirely to avoid being faced with inevitable uncertainty.

_ He was looking at you before, _ she reminded herself.  _ He’s scared, too. _

As Ladybug, she’d touched him freely after returning the ring, partially in the hopes that he’d realize what she couldn’t say, but mostly to reassure herself that her partner was really right there with her again, that it wasn’t some dream born out of longing and regret.

When he’d turned away from her earlier, right when she’d been leaning in to what she thought would be a kiss, Marinette had resolved to pull back on her affections. She didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. Marinette had been assuming that her feelings were clear, and that he’d known that she wanted to kiss him.

Since then it had grown steadily apparent, however, that Adrien had no idea just how important he was to her. Which left open the possibility that he hadn’t intended to reject her at all.

_ Maybe we don’t have to let go of things. _

And even if Adrien never wanted to kiss her again, he’d always welcomed her touch.

Ignoring the suddenly overpowering heat in her cheeks, Marinette straightened up and unfolded her arms as she took a small step closer to Adrien. Her ears thumped and her cheeks burned as she brought her hand to rest on top of his.

Adrien looked down at their hands, and Marinette watched with helpless fascination as a pink glow crept up his neck and into his cheeks.

_ I did that, _ Marinette realized.  _ I have the power to make Adrien Agreste blush.  _

Her frantic heart rate seemed to settle back into her chest where it belonged, as the fear of failure slipped away and the rush of adrenaline gathered into a focused determination.

_ Adrien Agreste is Chat Noir. I’ve always had the power to make him blush. And I want to do it again. _

There was so much she needed to tell him still  — about Chat Blanc, about her conversation with Kagami, about herself — and they’d never really finished their conversation about the team rules, either. 

Unfortunately, the problem with revealing her identity to Adrien was that she’d used up all her bravery in one shot and still had things left to reveal. But that was okay, because there would be other nights. She’d tell him all of Ladybug’s secrets tonight, and Marinette’s secrets would keep a little longer. Until she was ready.

Until she knew whether it was a confession or an admission.

She’d tell him either way, Marinette determined, but how she told him depended on him.

If Adrien really had moved on, she’d accept it, but she wasn’t ready to let go of the possibility that maybe he was pining hopelessly for her the way she was for him. She had to test the waters, which meant doing something she’d never managed to do with Adrien before: flirt.


	17. confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien gets a peek inside Marinette's head, but he's still a bit confused.

Adrien tried in vain to tame his racing heart as he stood on the balcony side by side with the girl who held his heart in her hands. While Marinette had been busy making excuses to her father, Adrien had taken advantage of his few moments alone to collect himself.

He had to remember that no matter how affectionate or playful Marinette was with him now, she was in love with someone else, just as she had always been, and that he should be cherishing her friendship instead of wishing for anything more. They knew each other's identities now; of course they would become closer friends as a result. Adrien shouldn’t read into it.

Adrien had to remember that. _Just friends_ , he told himself as he tried to sneak a glance at her. _Just friends_ , he reminded himself when she looked back at him. _Just friends,_ he repeated more forcefully as her small, soft hand covered his, igniting a warmth that shot through his arms up his neck to his cheeks.

What would she do if he turned his hand over? If he let his palm kiss hers and their fingers embrace? Would she accept this more intimate touch as a gesture of friendship, or would she push him away in fear that he was asking for more?

“So!” Marinette’s bright voice interrupted his train of thought. “We, um, we never finished discussing the rules, earlier.”

Marinette’s thumb traced tiny circles over the back of his hand as she spoke. Adrien was completely disarmed by the sensation of her hand on his and the way her smooth pink thumbnail glinted at the apex of the circle as it caught the light of the moon.

Belatedly, Adrien realized Marinette was probably waiting for him to say something. He just wasn’t sure what she wanted him to say.

“Oh,” he said, unsure what else there was to discuss. “I thought we were done.”

“Well, I wanted to get your input!” Marinette drew her hand away from him to gesture as she spoke. Adrien’s hand floated up to follow hers before he remembered himself and dropped it down at his side, turning to watch Marinette paint the starry sky with her fingertips as she continued to speak.

“...but then you asked about Multimouse, and obviously I couldn’t agree to that, but I couldn’t explain _why_ without lying so I wanted to tell you who I am, and then we got sidetracked because I wanted to tell you _everything_ — I don’t want there to be any secrets between us anymore…”

Adrien found himself nodding along eagerly as he drank in her words. He could fill the flower of hope expanding in his chest in response, filling up all the empty spaces carved out by empty rooms and empty promises.

“But I forgot we were supposed to figure out the rules!” Marinette finished with a final flourish of her hands. “What else did you want to add?”

“Oh, um,” Adrien muttered, looking down at Marinette’s recycled wooden spool table. “I can’t think of anyone else, really… You already gave out Miraculous to most of the people I would’ve picked. I don’t really… have anyone else.”

Adrien kept his eyes fixed on the wood grain of the table even as he heard Marinette step towards him again. He was unprepared for the feeling of one of her hands wrapping around his again or the quick, gentle squeeze of her thumb against his palm.

“Oh, well, you can suggest other rules, too!” Marinette encouraged.

“I…” Adrien trailed off, racking his brain for some useful addition, something to show her that he appreciated her including him. Something worthy of the faith she was putting in him; something that would show her he could make worthwhile contributions.

He came up blank.

“I’ll think about it,” he finished, lamely.

“Okay!” Marinette’s voice was as warm and lively as ever. To Adrien’s astonishment, her words didn’t hold even a trace of disappointment. “We can always change them later, we will just have to sign them again.”

“Sign them?” Adrien didn’t remember signing them in the first place.

“Yes, I figured we could both sign them,” Marinette explained, the warmth of her hand still wrapped securely around his larger one. “Then, if we need to change them, we both have to sign it again. That way, none of the rules will change without you knowing and agreeing. Do you have the paper?”

 _She’s brilliant,_ Adrien thought as he reached his free hand into the pocket of his jeans, hoping that the paper had carried over as he detransformed. The level of care Marinette had put into this touched him deeply — not just creating the rules but creating a whole system to ensure that he’d never be out of the loop. Adrien wasn’t sure if anyone had ever put that much thought into him before.

The paper was there, as he hoped, and he offered it to Marinette, who was triumphantly brandishing a metallic lavender pen that she must’ve already had with her. Marinette let go of his hand to take the paper and then swiveled to the wooden spool and knelt down to write.

Even in the heat of the summer air, Adrien’s hand felt a chill at the loss of it’s companion.

Adrien watched as she quickly jotted down “4. Chat Noir will help choose new heroes” before adding two horizontal lines underneath. Marinette added the date next to the two lines and then signed “Ladybug” in big, swooping letters on the first line, before turning her face up towards him. Adrien’s heart stuttered at the sight; unable to function properly in the onslaught of the open, caring expression she directed at him.

“Your turn,” she said simply, reaching up to hand him the pen.

Adrien swallowed as he took the pen, careful not to linger too long on the brush of their fingers lest Marinette take note that his eagerness for her touch went well beyond casual friendship.

He needn’t have bothered. Adrien expected Marinette to move away as he knelt down in front of the paper to sign, but instead she simply shifted her body slightly to the side, leaving her facing towards him only a hair’s breadth away.

_Huh._

Marinette’s easy proximity drove him to distraction; he almost signed the paper “Adrien Agreste” before correcting himself at the last second, resulting in a slightly misshapen “C” at the beginning of his signature.

Her voice tickled his ear as he put down the pen. 

“Speaking of secrets, there’s something else we should talk about.”

Something else? What other secret—

Oh. His secret. The one Kagami knew. 

“I guess you talked to Kagami, then?” Adrien asked, trying to keep his voice casual and light. Asking Marinette to speak with Kagami had seemed like such a good idea at the time, but now Adrien dreaded hearing what Marinette had learned from his ex-girlfriend.

“No!” Marinette shook her head. “I mean, yes, I did talk to her, but that’s not what I meant.”

“There’s another secret?” Adrien wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Happy she was ready to tell him, sure, but—

“I… yes. Another,” Marinette looked nervous now. “We should talk about Kagami, too, though! Not that there’s much… I mean, I don’t think we have to worry about her being akumatized, not about this.”

“Did she… say anything else?” Adrien asked with trepidation.

“Oh, uh, not really,” Marinette admitted. “She was pretty vague, and I figured that she was trying to protect your identity, so I didn’t pry.”

Adrien nodded, simultaneously relieved at Marinette’s answer and embarrassed at his earlier worry. Of course Kagami wouldn’t have mentioned his feelings for Ladybug; Kagami was smart enough to know that it would risk his identity.

His relief was unfortunately short-lived.

“The thing I need to tell you… is bigger.” Marinette’s voice was thin as she said this, sending cold waves of dread shooting through him. What could cause so much fear in his lady?

“You can tell me anything, Marinette,” he offered, hoping to provide some measure of comfort.

She pressed her lips together and nodded before grabbing his hand and pulling him up to stand with her.

“You should be comfortable for this,” Marinette said decisively as she led him over to her striped lounger. She took a seat without letting go of him, and Adrien happily let her pull him down with her so that their bodies landed together.

He again expected that Marinette would shift away once they sat, and again she surprised him by guiding them both back into a reclining positioned as they settled. Marinette curled into him, never letting go of his hand as she began to speak. Adrien couldn’t help but lean into her as he felt his lips curl up into a smile.

He took comfort in her touch as she confessed the devastating weight of the memories of an unrealized future.

* * *

Chat Noir’s head was swimming by the time he returned to his bedroom and called off his transformation. 

He sank down onto his couch, leaning his head back and scrubbing at his forehead with his fists.

“Kid,” Plagg said, uncharacteristically skipping past his usual demands for cheese. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I wouldn’t even know where to start, Plagg,” Adrien admitted. “All of that was just… a lot.”

And wasn’t that the truth? It’d already been a lot when she’d shown him their rules and her identity and the Miracle Box, but then they’d gone on to talk for hours after that. 

Plagg nodded, seemingly satisfied with this answer. 

“You know where to find me if you change your mind,” he said, and zipped away, leaving Adrien alone with his thoughts.

Marinette recounted the day she’d faced Chat Blanc and how the fear of the future had followed her since. She confessed her insecurities about living up to Master Fu’s expectations and the burden she felt being the Guardian. She relived the conversations she’d had with Tikki and with Alya over the last week and explained how she’d chosen him again, without regrets, despite her continued anxiety over the future.

And the whole time they talked, Marinette had snuggled into him, squeezing his hands in between her own and tangling her feet with his. He’d spent the night dizzy with her scent, her touch, her voice. She’d opened herself up to him completely and he was gladly drowning in her depths.

Adrien thought he understood her better now. When she’d been so quick to take his ring that night, Adrien had thought it was about him — that he’d failed her as a partner — and he’d been so desperate to prove himself when she gave him another chance.

But it hadn’t really been about Adrien at all. Or it had, but not in the way he’d assumed.

She’d been worried about him.

The thought sent a fluttering warmth through Adrien’s chest. He was important to her — as Chat Noir and as Adrien. Maybe not in the same way that she was important to him, but he could feel how deeply Marinette cared with every confession and every gentle touch.

Still, Adrien couldn’t help but feel like she’d still been holding something back. He couldn’t explain why, exactly, but Marinette had seemed to skip over certain details as she talked, like how Adrien had discovered her identity in the first place. She’d also said she wasn’t sure if Chat Blanc’s words were true, but then she’d glossed over what exactly he had said about why he was akumatized. Adrien had thought at first that Chat Blanc must’ve done something so terrible she couldn’t even speak of it, but then she’d done the same thing while telling him about her conversation with Alya — left out parts of the conversation.

Some crucial piece of context was _missing_.

Still, he trusted her — she’d tell him if he needed to know. She might even tell him if he didn’t, but Adrien hadn’t pushed. He was curious, of course, but Marinette had already shared so much with him today, and talking about Chat Blanc was clearly painful for her.

It was painful for Adrien, too. He didn’t like knowing that some version of him in some timeline had hurt her, even under the influence of an akuma. Marinette had reassured him, however, that even though they’d fought, Chat Blanc had never been spiteful or cruel — just scared and desperate — and the only thing that hurt was that he’d been in that situation at all.

He wondered what had been so awful to get him akumatized, if losing Plagg hadn’t done it. Adrien hoped they’d never find out. Whatever it was, he and Ladybug could face it together.

The two of them against the world, as always.

Adrien got up from the couch and started getting ready for bed, his body on autopilot as his brain turned the events of the day over and over in his mind. His thoughts consumed him as he crawled into bed, his mind straining to put everything he’d learned together.

But his final thoughts before he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep, were of the way his lady had glowed in the sunset atop the Eiffel Tower when he’d almost kissed her.

* * *

The next morning, Adrien stood uncertainly at the top of the steps in the front of the school, waiting for his lady to arrive. Most of the rest of the class had already done inside in anticipation of class starting, but Marinette hadn’t shown up yet.

Adrien hoped she hadn’t overslept. They’d stayed up awfully late, and their conversation had made it pretty clear that Marinette hadn’t been running on a full tank to begin with.

Maybe he should call her. On the one hand, if she had slept in, she’d probably be grateful for the wake up call. On the other, Adrien wasn’t sure if he was allowed to just… call Marinette.

They’d talked on the phone before, but they’d never had the kind of easy friendship where they chatted over the phone on a whim on either side of the mask. After last night, Adrien had hope that might change, but he wasn’t sure.

Maybe a text would be better.

He had just pulled his phone out of his pocket when he heard a familiar, chipper voice shout, “Adrien!”

Adrien hastily shoved his phone back in his pants when he caught sight of Marinette bounding towards him, her school bag bouncing against her hip as she ascended the steps.

Marinette’s feet skidded to a sudden halt in front of him, but the rest of her body missed the memo and continued barreling forward. Instinctively, Adrien reached out to catch her before she toppled over.

Marinette looked up at him with a grateful, heart-stopping smile and then rested her tiny hands on his torso as she steadied herself, shooting sparks through his chest like a defibrillator.

Her smile faltered for just a second, an unreadable look flashing through her eyes, before her lips curled back up into a smirk as she pulled herself upright, her hands traveling up the panes of his chest to his shoulders.

_What?_

“Looks like I’m falling for you,” Marinette murmured sweetly as her hands ran down his arms and she clasped his hands with hers.

_WHAT?_

“Good thing you’re always here to catch me, my kitty. I can always count on you.”

 _WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT_ —

“Are you ready for class?” Marinette continued on as if she’d said nothing particularly out of the ordinary.

Adrien was in no way, shape, or form ready to go to class. He wasn’t even sure he could form words.

Instead, he nodded numbly, and was rewarded with another blindingly bright smile.

Adrien followed Marinette blindly towards the classroom, unable to focus on anything except for the way her hand fit perfectly in his.

* * *

Adrien had of course assumed that Marinette _flirting_ and _feeling him up_ was an isolated incident, some sort of weird fluke in response to how close they’d been the night before.

But then she kept doing it.

Well, she didn’t feel up his chest again (much to his simultaneous dismay and relief — as nice as it had been, his heart probably wouldn’t survive a second go).

But she _did_ keep flirting. At least, he was pretty sure it was flirting. He just wasn’t sure _why_.

Maybe she was just more comfortable around him now. Or trying to make him feel comfortable. After all, he’d dropped plenty of cheesy lines on Ladybug in the past, maybe she thought reviving their superhero banter would strengthen their friendship.

Really, that was the only plausible explanation for Marinette’s response when he told Nino he had a photoshoot after school.

“You know, Adrien,” Marinette interjected in their conversation as she twisted her pigtail around her hand. “I’m not your photographer, but I can picture you and me together.”

“Dude,” said Nino as Adrien felt his face heat up. Alya _squealed_.

“I mean!” Marinette yelped, tugging at her pigtails now. “I can see you in pictures, like photographs, because you’re in a lot of photographs, and—” 

“Girl, you were so close,” Alya interrupted.

“Oh,” Adrien said, Marinette’s words bumping a familiar memory in his brain. He tried to ignore the hint of disappointment with the realization that she definitely wasn’t flirting. “I forgot that you’re a fan. Did you want to come to the shoot?”

“Y-yeah.” Marinette’s cheeks were flushed, probably with embarrassment that she’d almost accidentally hit on him. “That’s what I meant.”

“I’ll text Nathalie right now and ask her!” Adrien said too loudly. He quickly shot off a text, suddenly overcome with anticipation of _his lady_ watching his photoshoot. Maybe she’d see him through the lens of the camera and be stunned with his beauty, or she’d be impressed with the way he handled himself in a professional setting, or —

His phone beeped.

> **Nathalie:** No.

Maybe not, then.

* * *

Marinette continued to be casually affectionate with him throughout the next few days, doting more attention on him in the span of a few hours than he was accustomed to receiving over the course of an entire month.

Adrien soaked it in like a sponge, storing away all of her sweet words and friendly touches as if he could fill up his heart like a reservoir and use the warmth she’d granted him to sustain him when the affection inevitably dried up.

But she didn’t say anything quite so blatantly flirtatious until Ladybug met Chat Noir for patrol.

Emboldened by the ability to don his suit again, Chat Noir risked greeting his partner with a customary kiss to the back of her hand, hoping that she’d allow him this the way she had in the past.

Ladybug more than allowed it. She pressed her hand up against his lips, turning his intended airy peck into a lingering caress, and then, as he slowly drew away, she flipped her hand over in his and lifted it in again in invitation.

Hesitantly, he laid a soft kiss in the center of her palm, and she rewarded him with a satisfied hum that made his spine tingle with delight.

“I wonder what that feels like on my bare skin,” she mused after he lifted his head to look at her. Ladybug’s cheeks were pink.

“I, uh,” Chat Noir said, pulling his hand back to scratch his neck. “I guess we could find out?”

Did she want him to kiss her hand at school? _As Adrien?_

“We can?” Ladybug’s voice was oddly high. “I mean, we can! I mean, yes! I look forward to it! Great! Let’s patrol!”

Apparently she did.

_Huh._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to my beta [sagansjagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/works).


	18. rooftop date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ladybug and Chat Noir meet for patrol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOW ABOUT THAT SPECIAL Y'ALL

In the days after Chat Noir had kissed Ladybug’s palm, she’d only grown more bold. Ladybug giggling at his puns, Marinette bringing him pastries in the morning and saying things like “I wanted to give you something as sweet as you,” Ladybug hugging him tightly and burying her face in his neck…

Adrien couldn’t keep up. He’d tried, he really had, but when Marinette had offered him her hand the next morning he couldn’t find the nerve to kiss it.

He wondered if she had been as disappointed as he was at his failure.

Probably not. There was no way Marinette had any idea of the effect she had on him. Ladybug was driving him mad, lavishing attention on him on both sides of their masks. Adrien didn’t stand a chance of getting over her, not when he was trying to fight it on both fronts.

He had to tell her. Ladybug would never want to lead him on — she’d said so herself, that night on the roof when he’d handed her a rose and kissed her cheek. Marinette was in love with someone else, and if she was flirting with him, it was probably because she had no idea that Adrien’s feelings had only grown since that night.

Adrien felt a sharp pang in his heart as he recalled what she’d said to him that night: “I don’t want to play around with your feelings. It would be the same as lying to you.”

Ladybug would want to know that she was hurting him, so that she could stop.

(Adrien didn’t want her to stop. He’d happily endure every heartache in the world as long as she allowed him to hold her hand again. He had to tell her anyway.)

* * *

As Adrien said his goodbyes to Nino at the end of the school day, he spotted Marinette in the corner of his eye, heading towards him. Without even meaning to, Adrien found himself straightening up, nervously patting down his hair and then chastising himself because Marinette had already seen his hair at it’s very messiest.

Heck, she’d seen him without hair at all as Aspik and as Snake Noir. Having a few strands out of place wouldn’t make a difference at this point.

Still, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to pull out his phone and check in the self-facing camera, just to be sure…

Marinette’s timely arrival interrupted his thoughts.

“So…” Marinette started, poking her fingers together in front of her chest and looking more hesitant than she had around him in days. For a second, Adrien thought that maybe she’d realized what was going through his head.

And then she dropped her hands down and reached out to grab his, her entire body language shifting to _Ladybug_ as she continued speaking: “I’ll see you tonight, hot stuff?”

He had to tell her.

“Marinette,” Adrien started, unsure how to phrase this but determined to continue. He didn’t want to confront her; he didn’t want to tell her to stop. _She would never want to lie to a friend_ , he reminded himself, _you have to do this because she would want to know._

“I know that you are trying very hard to make things right between us. And I really appreciate it. But please, you need to tone it down. I can’t — when you say things like that, I —” Adrien’s voice cut off as he choked on his own words, his throat clogging up in fear, unwilling to let him continue no matter how much he knew Marinette would want to hear what he had to say.

“You what, Adrien?” Marinette’s voice was impossibly gentle as she gave his hand a comforting squeeze and the look in her eyes encouraged him to keep going.

“I hope that it means something I know it doesn’t,” he admitted. “And it hurts to remember that you don’t mean it the way I want you to.”

“Oh, _oh no_.” Marinette’s voice was wavering now. “I didn’t — I mean I do but — I didn’t realize it was hurting you, I — just meet me tonight, okay? Please?”

Adrien had no idea what to make of that response, but he nodded anyway. Of course he’d meet her, he’d always be there if she asked.

“I’m sorry,” Marinette continued. “I know it’s not fair to make you wait until tonight, and that it’ll probably drive you nuts because it would drive _me_ nuts, but I have this whole plan and I’ve been working on it for days and I—”

“It’s fine, Marinette,” Adrien said, forcing a smile. “If you have a plan, I’ll wait. I trust you, milady.”

Marinette beamed at him so brightly that he almost forgot how anxious he felt.

Almost.

Adrien could wait, though. He’d always trusted Ladybug’s plans without question, and she wouldn’t let him down.

And he couldn’t help but hope that the fact Ladybug had been planning something for days meant maybe her actions over the last week were more intentional than he’d assumed all along. 

Maybe, just maybe, something between them had changed.

* * *

That night, Chat Noir arrived at their usual patrol spot with a sense of hopeful apprehension.

Ladybug jumped as his boots landed with a clunk on the roof, and when she whirled around to face him it was with a nervous smile that reflected his own feelings back at him. 

“Chat!” Ladybug’s voice brimmed with excitement and something else, something that Adrien was still hesitant to name. “You came!”

He felt the petals of hope unfurl in his chest as he bloomed with the possibilities of where the night would lead. The possibility that Ladybug was ready to give him a chance — that she felt even a fraction of what he felt for her — had been slowly filling Adrien with anticipation all afternoon, and her face right now confirmed that for once, he was at least safe to hope.

Marinette would have told him if there wasn’t any hope, right?

“Of course I did, milady,” he answered, with a small bow. “I’ll always come.”

Would it be too much to kiss her hand again?

“I know you will, I just —” Ladybug was suddenly shy again, twisting her hands together in front of herself. “I, um, spent a long time on this, and I really, really, don’t want to screw it up, the way I’ve screwed it up every other time, and so I’m still really nervous but that’s not because of you. You’re great. I mean — no, Marinette, don’t backtrack!”

She took in a deep breath, and stared straight at him. “You’re great, Chat Noir. And I’m not as good with words as you are, so tonight, I’m going to show you what I haven’t been able to say, and I want you to know, before I show you, that I definitely, without a doubt, mean it.”

Chat Noir opened his mouth, wanting to say something, _anything,_ but Ladybug interrupted him.

“Not yet,” she said, pulling out her yo-yo. “Follow me.”

And with that, Ladybug leapt into the night, and Chat Noir sprang after her, following his lady across the rooftops of Paris. 

They traversed a familiar path, and it was easy for him to assume she was leading him back to her house again, the way she’d done the night she’d shown him her identity.

But then she stopped, a few houses away, and _oh._

He recognized this rooftop. Not just the rooftop itself — though that was familiar too — but the way the rooftop was littered with rose petals and the railings were bedecked with flickering candles.

The way someone had perfectly recreated the night that he’d been playing in his head all day. 

Chat Noir’s breath caught in his chest as he realized that the someone who’d done this was _Ladybug_. She’d dragged pillows and blankets and roses across Paris and lit dozens of carefully placed candles, and she had done it for him. Chat Noir knew exactly how much effort she’d put into this, because he’d done it himself.

And she said _she’d meant it._

The flower blooming in his chest was suddenly an entire garden, and he realized he couldn’t keep hoarding her affections because his heart was so full it was able to burst, and _she’d meant it_. 

Ladybug knew very well what Chat Noir had intended when he’d invited her to a candlelit rooftop, and she’d done the same exact thing and _she’d meant it._

There was no other interpretation: Ladybug meant “I love you.”

Ladybug didn’t say the words, of course, but Chat Noir heard them anyway.

“It’s beautiful,” he said, stunned at the sight. “You’re beautiful.”

“I’m so glad you like it,” Ladybug said, her perfect pink lips curling up into a small but genuine smile.

“I’m sorry for confusing you,” she said, kneeling down to pick up a single rose from a vase sitting on the ground and then turning back to him. “I just didn’t want to take you by surprise again, even with a good surprise — I mean, my identity was a good surprise, I think, but you freaked out —”

Reflexively, Chat Noir tried to apologize. “I’m so—”

“No! Don’t be sorry!” Ladybug cut him off, shaking her head frantically. “I shouldn’t have sprung it on you and that was my bad, really, and your reaction was understandable, and I didn’t want to do the same thing, so I wanted you to have time to get used to the idea that I, well, you know…”

Ladybug looked down at the rose in her hands, blushing, before meeting his eyes again with a look so earnest it melted his bones. “And honestly, I was nervous because I wasn’t sure if you still felt the same way, and I knew you’d be sweet even if you didn’t but I wanted to feel things out before I set up a big confession. I was going to tell you either way, but I wanted to be prepared, and if you were over me, I didn’t want to pressure you by making a big gesture—”

“I’m not over you,” Chat blurted, unable to hold it in any longer. “I’ve never gotten over you. I don’t even think it’s possible.”

Ladybug stepped closer to him before thrusting her fist out in front of her. Without meaning to, he felt his hands wrap arounds hers, only to realize she was offering him the rose she’d plucked out of the vase earlier. She smiled at him, soft and sweet. 

“You mean everything to me, Chat Noir,” she said, and he couldn’t contain his happiness. Chat Noir was sure he was grinning like an idiot, but he didn’t care because _he meant everything to her_ and he _loved_ her and she was smiling like an idiot now, too.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” Ladybug continued, and he wanted to tell her it was fine, he was overjoyed she’d told him at all, but his curiosity managed to momentarily pierce through the pink cloud of happiness flooding his head.

“How long have you…” Chat trailed off, gesturing futilely with the rose in his hands. _How long have you been in love with me,_ he wanted to say, but part of him still hesitated to say the words when she still hadn’t.

“A while.” Ladybug was standing so close now that she had to crane her head to look up at him. “I just didn’t know. Not until I had to be Ladybug without you. Even for a few days… it was unbearable. And most of that was because you’re so important to me as a partner, and a friend, but I realized it was more than that. And you’ve been more than that to me for a while.”

She was so, so close and her eyes were shining up at him with so much _love_ that he felt dizzy.

“When you asked me to come tonight, I hoped…” Chat Noir felt himself leaning in closer to her without even meaning to, and he could feel her leaning closer too. “I thought maybe, you might be ready to give me a chance, to move on from that other boy, but I never expected…”

“There’s no other boy, Adrien,” Ladybug murmured as she reached her hands up to cup his cheeks. “Just you. Always you.”

And before he could ask her what she meant by that, she was pulling him down, down, down and pressing her perfect lips against his, and Chat Noir couldn’t think about anything besides kissing the girl he loved.

The girl who loved him _back,_ he remembered, and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her flush against him, and she melted into him. Ladybug’s hands moved from his cheeks into his hair as he moved his lips tentatively against hers. Her lips parted slightly in response and he tilted his head, allowing her to seal her lips against his fully, and he never wanted to stop kissing this wonderful, incredible, passionate girl who somehow wanted to kiss him, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to my beta [sagansjagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/works).


	19. home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ladybug asks Chat Noir for a ring.

Ladybug loved Chat Noir. She’d always loved him, since the very beginning, and she knew he loved her, too. But sometimes her anxiety and fear crept back in.

Since they’d started dating six months ago, after the night she’d kissed him on the roof she’d prepared for him, Chat Noir was usually the one who calmed that anxiety and fear. He’d been her rock ever since she opened up to him. So logically, she knew that Adrien did not mean to make her anxious when he’d said he wanted to discuss their rules that night on patrol. 

He hadn’t meant to, but he did.

No matter how many times she told herself that she was overreacting, she couldn’t help the way panic spiked in her chest as she heard him arrive, his boots thumping as he landed on the rooftop.

“Hey, Bugaboo,” Chat Noir said, coming to sit next to her and leaning over to place a quick peck on her cheek.

“Hey, Kitty. Is everything okay?” Ladybug said softly, twisting her hands together in her lap and swinging her legs off the edge of the roof. Chat Noir reached over her lap to place a soothing hand on top of hers.

“Of course! Everything is just  _ purr _ fect,” he assured her with a goofy grin, and Ladybug felt the tension melt out of her shoulders. He wasn’t upset with the rules (more importantly, he wasn’t upset with  _ her _ ).

“If nothing’s wrong, then what did you want to talk about?” Ladybug tried to keep her tone at a mild curiosity, but it was probably a lost cause — she could tell by the look in his eye that Chat Noir knew exactly how impatient she was for his answer.

“Well…” Chat’s voice trailed off as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, folded piece of paper. He began dramatically unfolding the paper in front of him as he continued talking, and Ladybug couldn’t help the grin that spread unbidden across her face at his antics. “I was looking over the rules the other day, and I would like to request a formal change. You see, I’m afraid there’s been a huge oversight.” 

“How? What kind of oversight? Did I forget something? No, I couldn’t have forgotten something, I thought of everything, I—” Ladybug’s words were cut off by the sudden pressure of Chat’s index finger on her lips. 

“Of course you did, milady,” Chat said as he moved his hand from her mouth back down to the paper and pointed at one of the rules. “You were very thorough. But I’m afraid you didn’t make room for some future changes that I’ve been hoping for.”

“Future changes?” Ladybug leaned down to look at the rule he was pointing at. 

“...No longer Adrien Agreste? No, you can’t—” Ladybug felt her voice catch and suddenly it was hard to breathe.  _ He can’t mean that, no, no no, I can’t _ —

“Shhh, milady,” Chat interrupted, his voice soft and low as he wrapped his arms around her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you panic. You know I’d never leave you, Lovebug. You’re stuck with me.”

With that, he leaned down to press a soft kiss on the expanse of skin between her mask and her bangs. Ladybug melted into him and closed her eyes, suddenly feeling very silly for worrying. As she relaxed into his embrace, she could make out the steady drumming of his heartbeat and felt her rhythm relax into his.

“Please, kitty, don’t tease me like that,” she said, softer now. “What did you mean?”

“I’ll always be Chat Noir,” he said, leaning his head to rest on hers. “But I might not always be Adrien Agreste. You see, I was hoping we could make an addendum: Chat Noir can be Adrien Agreste or… Adrien Dupain-Cheng.”

“Chat!” Ladybug scolded and pushed him off her. “We’re only fifteen!”

“Sure, but we won’t  _ always _ be fifteen,” Chat said, flashing a quick grin at her before letting his smile fade into something softer. “I just want to be prepared for the future. For  _ our _ future. I want to build a life with you, Marinette. I love being your boyfriend and gallivanting across Paris with you, but one day, I want to be the person you come home to.”

He gazed down at her, eyes shining, and it took every ounce of self-control Ladybug had to not immediately fling herself into his arms and kiss every inch of his painfully-sincere face.

“I understand,” Ladybug schooled her features into the most solemn expression she could muster. “I appreciate your forethought in this matter. I accept your addendum.”

“But—wait, really?” Chat’s eyes were wide with surprise, and he looked so  _ cute _ that this time she couldn’t help but lean forward and kiss the little ‘o’ of his lips.

“Yes, really,” she said, leaning back into him and tugging his arm around her again. “Someday… but you’ll have to give me a ring first.”

“I think I can manage that,” he replied, and Ladybug could  _ hear  _ the smile in his voice. “As long as you don’t want the one I’m wearing.”

“No,” Ladybug smiled and reached out to grab his hand, lacing their fingers together. A perfect fit. “You can keep that one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap! Thank you to everyone who read and commented throughout this piece - I cherished the encouragement from each and every one of you. I've never written anything like this before - I'd only just started writing fanfic this year, and I never thought I'd be able to finish a multichaptered fic, so all the support I received writing this made a huge difference!
> 
> Thanks so much to my beta [sagansjagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/works).


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